Petal & Thorn

Sisi is 13 Months!

2012-02-27T22:19:00.000-08:00

This month she made it through another wonder week, and now we're seeing the fruits of it. She's trying to put puzzles together (unsuccessfully, but trying), she's playing with her toys differently, she's communicating by pointing and speaking. It's been another whirlwind month! She's looking more and more like a toddler!

headband by Petal and Thorn (soon-to-be-listed), overalls by h&m

Sisi at a glance:

if you listen closely to all the babble, you'll hear real words coming out of her mouth- doggy, ducky, li-li (lion), down (which she yells at the dogs while making the "down" motion), a-na-na (banana), manna (as in coconut manna), eeeease (please).
hair is growing long! she has one of those late 80's rat tails going on.
still crawling, cruising, and breakdancing.
standing on her own, just barely.
sleeping through the night more often than not (hallelujah!) and totally night weaned (amen!)
size 4 diapers, size 12-18 month clothes.
loves climbing into drawers, hiding in closets, and pushing stuff around.
gives the dogs hugs on command.
when reading "mommy hugs", she searches for the page with the monkeys and pats her own head. (all you mommies probably know what I'm talking about)

Thanks hubby for taking these precious pics, month after month. It's a tradition we'll keep up as long as we can, although it gets harder and harder to get shots the more mobile she gets!

P.S. I LOVE overalls on babies. A lot of people purposely dress their babies like mini-adults. I dress Sisi in things I could never pull off but secretly wish I could (like the silver sparkly jeans she was wearing the other day). I don't think orange seersucker overalls are in my future, but they are certainly in Sisi's (they are so big she'll be wearing them til she's 4.)

Instafriday 2/24/12

2012-02-24T10:59:00.001-08:00

It's instafriday, time to show off my week in cell phone pics!

This week, I ditched the diaper bag for a regular purse. A symbolic moment :)

I finally organized my jewelry drawer. Little by little, I'm becoming a somewhat organized gal.

Sisi bangs on the taiko drums at our fav sushi place. Just a hint- some of the more baby friendly items to get at a sushi restaurant- tomago (sweet egg omelette), yellowtail kama (the collar of yellowtail steamed- tender and easy to eat), salmon eggs (fun finger food)

I love flowers, but I absolutely hate gardening. I'm no good at it. But, we had packets of seeds, so I haphazardly threw them in the planter box, watered 'em, and we'll have to see...

forever 21 flats

We were invited to my sis in law's house for bubbly and surf n' turf ...

Because this heart model that her boyfriend gave her for Valentine's day happened to have a big sparkly diamond ring hanging on the heart strings. That's right, the heart strings. (Teresa is in the medical field, so giving her a heart model was not weird.)

Cheers to the newly engaged couple! xoxoxo

I was so excited about my new blue skinny jeans, that I wore them way too many times this week.

skinny jeans with tom's wedges

skinny jeans with rope sandals and sherbet orange nails, plus pesto and basil

Shaking the Sugar Habit (and a recipe)

2012-02-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

THE SITCH:

You might know that over the last year, I've been going more and more paleo.

I'm at the point now where I can't even remember the last time I had a sandwich or bowl of pasta. I used to LOVE grains. I could eat an entire baguette with jam in one sitting. I'm happy to report I don't miss them at all now. AT ALL.

But sugary pastries, candy and coffee drinks? Ummm...I'm actually sipping on an iced mocha right now. I set some sugar rules for myself, but to be honest, I probably break these rules more than I keep them.

These are my sugar rules:
1. One dessert per day
2. No sweets before 2 solid meals.
3. If I'm having a nighttime sugar craving, drink tea and get to bed as soon as possible.
4. I'm allowed 2 coffee shop drinks per week, and they don't have to count as my dessert for the day.

Some people might find these rules very liberal, and maybe a little silly. But to a sugar addict like myself, it takes so much will power to obey them. I sometimes wake up in the morning wanting See's candy for breakfast, so to force myself to eat two healthy meals before I can indulge is very very difficult. And sugar is just so hard to eat in moderation. if there is sugar in the house, it's on my radar all day long.

THE GOAL:

I'm almost afraid to write this because it makes it real, but my new goal is to be *practically sugar free by 2013. Why?

Sugar is terribly addicting.
It's horrible for my teeth and liver.
I get a strange buzz in my temples and severe stomach cramps if I eat too much of it.
It feeds cancer cells.
In large amounts, sugar can be so toxic, some researchers believe it should be regulated like alcohol or cigarettes (the libertarian in me totally disagrees with this solution.)
Most importantly, I want to be a good role model for Sisi. Whatever she sees me eating, she wants.

Ok, so I've set the goal, and I really believe in the goal. Stop eating sugar! Just STOP IT. Easy, right? No.
My husband dropped sugar cold turkey years ago. That's just the way he works- he's more black and white about diet. But for me, I have to be more strategic. I need a game plan to wean me off of it. Hopefully next year I'll be as ambivalent about sugar as I am about bread or pasta. I'll report back to you on that.

THE PLAN:

I've noticed that I have sugar cravings at 10am, 4 pm, and 9pm. Like clockwork, those are the times when I reach for the cookie jar. I just have to get through each craving, one by one. I have to fool myself a little bit.

10am craving hits: retaliate with 1/2 cup of organic coffee or tea with a spoonful of xylitol or erythritol, and a splash of heavy cream. Feels like a treat, tastes sweet and delicious and keeps me occupied until lunch time. I'll do a separate post about xylitol and erythritol, for those of you who've never heard of it or think they sound like some creepy chemicals. (It's funny, I read an article called "The Dangers of Erythritol", and the only "dangers" it listed was possible gassiness and stomach gurgling sounds if eaten in large amounts. Run for your lives!!!!!!!!!)

4pm craving hits: By then, I've had my two solid healthy meals, so I'm technically allowed to have a dessert. I used to grab a pastry from a coffee shop, a bowl of ice cream, or (way too many) cookies from the pantry. Now I always have sugar free, gluten free paleo cookies on hand. I even keep a few in my purse in case I'm tempted to make a sharp turn into the Sprinkles Cupcakes parking lot. They are so filling, so I am satisfied with just one or two, and I don't feel that awful sugar buzz afterward. These cookies are like a "nicotine patch"- they get me through the craving. Recipe below.

9pm craving hits: I drink some plain herbal tea. I find that the smell and warmth of the tea is comforting enough to distract me until the craving passes. Even better to add a pinch of cinnamon, which helps fight sugar cravings even more. Before I know it, it's time for bed, and I've made it through the day, practically sugar free!

I've stuck to this plan fairly well for the last two weeks. My clothes fit better. I tried on bright blue skinny jeans yesterday and I actually bought them without hesitation because they looked nice. For a pear shaped girl, that's saying a LOT. But even more importantly, I don't have sugar on the brain constantly. This is the closest I've come to being truly paleo, and I feel GREAT.

****************************************************************************************
Soooo Scrumptious Paleo Chocolate Chip Cookies (adapted from Baker Gal's recipe)

Baker Gal's done a lot of research on paleo cookies. After comparing 6 different paleo chocolate chip cookie recipes and not loving any of them, she decided to come up with her own. It really is the best I've tried. However, I'm not big on agave nectar (very high in fructose), and I try to limit my honey intake (it gives me that same weird head buzzing that sugar does). I made a few changes to suit my own version of the paleo diet, and it's super yummy!

Here's her recipe (my changes are in bold.)

Paleo Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe, Makes 16-20

5 oz (1 1/4 cups) very finely ground blanched almond flour (I used JK Gourmet)
1/4 teaspoon salt (I used finely ground sea salt b/c it's better for you and so tasty in desserts)
1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 cup raw agave nectar (I used 1/4 c. pure maple syrup with 3 tbs erythritol or xylitol mixed in)

1/8 cup macademia nut oil (link goes to amazon)
1 tsp vanilla extract
A scant 1/4 cup dark chocolate chips.(This is the only blatantly non-paleo part of the recipe- I put a mere 3 or 4 semi-sweet chips in each cookie after shaping it on the cookie sheet. You can buy a super dark chocolate bar and crush it into chunks if you really want to go sugar free.)
I added a handful of chopped pecans, too, to make these cookies more filling.

ingredients- some are a little hard to track down, some are pricey. it's worth it!

Heat oven to 325.
Mix almond flour, salt, and baking soda well. In a small bowl, mix maple syrup, erythritol, Macadamia nut oil, and vanilla. Combine wet and dry ingredients, mixing well. Batter should be thick enough that you can roll a small ball between your palms and set it on the cookie sheet without it drooping or losing shape. Add a handful of nuts.

Mix wet and dry ingredients together.

Make 16 - 20 small balls of cookie dough and space them evenly on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. Press the cookies down as flat as possible with the palm of your hand. This is important! The cookies will NOT spread out on their own.

You need to squish these yourself- they don't change shape after baking.

Rather than mix chocolate chips into the dough, I press 3 or 4 chocolate chips into each cookie.
Bake about 6 minutes. Watch closely and remove when the edges start to brown. . . they could be done at 4 minutes or at 8 minutes depending on the size of the cookie and your oven calibration.

This is how many cookies I got from doubling the recipe.

Big thanks to Baker Gal for creating the original recipe! Your cookies are helping me achieve my goal of being sugar free by 2013!!!

*I say "practically sugar free" because I plan on eating things like wedding cake, thai food, and ketchup from time to time. There is sugar hidden everywhere (especially if you eat out!), so I don't want to go insane trying to eliminate it completely. But no more blatant everyday sugar binges. That was soooo 2011.

Just Listed! Cherry Blossom Comb

2012-02-20T09:04:00.000-08:00

Wow, I made and shot this comb months ago. I'm just now listing it in time for Cherry Blossom season. It's one of my favorites. The perfect shade of peachy pink beads- some sparkly, some clear, some milky, almost like rock candy. Definitely worth the blistered and wire-pricked fingers :) Find it here.
***Thanks to my hubby for photographing!

Instafriday 2/17/2012

2012-02-17T14:58:00.000-08:00

Due to technical difficulties, this Instafriday post is a little bit late. Sorry!

Sisi is savoring the remnants of my chai tea.

A little late night crafting (and these days, late for me is anything past 10pm)

Our rain soaked yard. BTW, we need a major yard makeover. Although I wish we could pour our tax return into it, I know Dave Ramsey would chew me out for that. Maybe we should be on a TLC show or something.

How gorgeous is this wooden platter sent by my dear friend all the way from new york?

This blanket has been in the hamper for 2 weeks. Every time I try to wash it, some canine or human wants to play or nap on it.

I cooked two pork tenderloins with apple bacon relish for my in-laws. We had dinner together, just because. It was nice.

Yay for cheap entertainment!

A trio of camellias in crystal goblets.

Last year, I was considering plucking these sickly camellia plants out of the ground. Suddenly, this winter, they decided to burst with fuchsia blooms. I think I get more enjoyment out of this tiny arrangement than any flower-dripping wedding arch I've ever made.

Embellished Onesie Tutorial

2012-02-15T22:46:00.000-08:00

This project was addicting. I ended up making 10 onesies in all for my little rascal using this freezer paper technique. I can't take credit for "discovering" this method though- I used this freezer paper stencil tutorial and tweaked it a little bit.

Materials: fabric paint, sponge brushes, freezer paper (this one comes already cut in letter sized sheets, perfect for crafting), onesie, jersey fabric (I just repurposed an old t-shirt.)
Supplies: iron and Silhouette Cameo *or other die cut cutter.

(((*I've never used a cricut before, so I'm not sure if these instructions will apply. I know with cricut you can't really create your own logo like I did here, you're limited to what's on the cartridges. Am I correct? But I assume you can still cut the cartridge shapes onto freezer paper with the cricut, and the rest of the tutorial will apply. Any cricut users wanna chime in on this?
**I know most people don't have a cutting machine. You can go old school and print your design onto the freezer paper and cut it out with an exacto knife, if you're really patient and committed to such a project. Just make sure the shiny side is down, and you're printing on the matte side. )))

Here's what I did.
1. I designed the "I'm This Many" logo using the free software that comes with the cameo. I used fonts from my computer for the lettering, and clip art of a pointing finger and arrow that I found online and traced with the software so it could be cut. I made sure the logo was no wider than 6 or 7 inches. Then I drew a square around the whole logo, as I would be using the negative space as a stencil, and wouldn't want to deal with the whole sheet of freezer paper on a tiny little onesie. (This youtube tutorial helped me figure out the studio software.)

2. I flipped the image using the mirror function.
Here is slightly different version I made for my friend's 2 year old.

3. Settings: I set my silhouette to the "vellum" setting. I placed the freezer paper on the cutting mat shiny side UP (this is why you need to mirror your image!) and adjusted the blade to 2, even though it tells you to put it at 1. It just wouldn't cut through the freezer paper on 1. I found that cutting on the shiny side resulted in less tearing.

4. I let the cameo do it's thing, and when it was finished, peeled away the paper from the cutting mat. Once again, you're creating a stencil, so you just want the negative space and any center pieces (such as the fingers on the hand.) Discard the rest.

5. Place the freezer paper shiny side DOWN onto the onesie, and iron it down (no steam). It only took a few seconds. Iron on any center pieces, one by one. Freezer paper is awesome and forgiving. If you mess up, peel it off and try again.

6. Paint the design however you want to. It's super satisfying to peel the freezer paper off. I can never wait until it's dry, and I always end up smudging something.

7. For the ruffles, I cut up an old t-shirt, and more or less followed this tutorial for attaching the ruffles. I found it helpful to sew a ruffle down, and then always bring the needle back up through an edge of that ruffle before sewing on the next ruffle, that way each ruffle was stitched twice and felt less floppy. I wanted it to look a little bit like a shrug. At first, the ruffles were so big that the shirt made Sisi look like a bull fighter. I trimmed them down and it looked a lot cuter.

I happened to find that skirt on sale at old navy for 10.00 after I made the shirt. I couldn't resist, the colors were SO perfect! All in all, her entire outfit cost me 15.00. Not bad, eh?
Photoshoot photos by Trista Lerit Photography!

Instafriday 2/10/2012

2012-02-10T08:14:00.000-08:00

A beautiful summery day in February spent at the dog beach.

Boyfriend jeans and aqua toes.

I walked into the kitchen to find Joe's bacon-drying apparatus.

Joe's crazy bulletproof coffee ritual.

Shih tzu ponytail.

Beading a dragonfly for an etsy customer.

In my bead box, I found an abandoned project from long ago.

Pesto got a puppy haircut.

Aww flowers. No, wait! Those are thai chili peppers! No touching!

delicious paleo cookies using this recipe.

q-tips are going back on the grocery list.

Crafting, Little by Little

2012-02-07T09:37:00.000-08:00

When it comes to events, I am an anti-procrastinator. I learned as a florist to order vases, supplies, and flowers way ahead of time in case something was out of stock and I needed time to hunt for other options. I didn't want to be sued. I'm not even kidding- I once was straight up fired by a couple because I couldn't provide them with the exact same vase they saw in a magazine. 3 years later, I'm still a little stunned by what happened, but you better bet it taught me a lesson: Events are important, emotional, and (sometimes) a little chaotic, and therefore you need to prep everything you possibly can ahead of time so you have the time and energy to deal with any last minute stuff that comes up.

Angel's shower wasn't stressful at all, thanks to her wonderful assistants Anna and Michelle who planned everything to perfection. All I had to do was make it look pretty, which was easy in such a lovely restaurant. But I still applied my anti-procrastination tactics and started working on the decor over a month ahead of time just to be sure I finished everything. Now that I'm a full time mom, I can really only work during Sisi's naps and after I've put her to bed for the night.

Here are some of the projects I'm so glad I started early:

Half of these pots I already had at home in my garden from Home Depot, and half I painted with spray paint to compliment them for 1/5 the cost. Simply tape off the tops of the pots and paint several coats until you get the glazed look you're going for. I will spray them again with some glossy water seal so I can use them for an herb garden I'm dreaming up (when it comes to gardening, I'm most definitely a procrastinator).

These thumb tack balls are so fun and easy, but SUUPPERR time consuming. I could finish 1 or 2 per episode of Felicity, not even counting the time it took to paint them with primer and then a few layers of spray paint. I wanted at least 25 to make a statement on the tables. Do the math- that's a lot of Felicity episodes. Had I left these until last minute, I would have made 5 and quit, with 2 billion thumb tacks left over. The fabric balls were a much cheaper and easier project- I could make 5 or 6 per episode of Felicity.

These faux craspedia were a little harder than I imagined. I wrapped 100 wires with stretchy floral tape. Then I had to use a sharp wire to poke a hole in each wool ball. I then dotted the tip of each wrapped wire with a little glue, and inserted them into the holes in the balls. Definitely cute, and it cut down on the number of fresh flowers I needed to buy. Quite tedious though.

I made 3 pretty pillows for Angel's nursery, and did 1 per day. It took a few episodes of Felicity to finish each one.

It took a few days to cut various shapes for her felt mobiles. Awesomely, they only took about 10 minutes to sew together. Simply feed the shapes under the presser foot one by one, overlapping a bit.

Now you all think I'm a Felicity freak, don't you? The show definitely went downhill once she cut her hair off, but I wanted to get through the whole entire show on netflix. I've moved on to Wonder Years and Scrubs. Anyway, hopefully this inspires you to do a little crafting!

Instafriday 2/3/2012

2012-02-03T06:22:00.000-08:00

The weekend was all about Sisi's party, and this week has been about the aftermath. Parties are a lot of work!

Freezer paper + silhouette cameo + cheap onesies= fabulous and useful wall art!

Dead balloons...

Most brides were anti-gerbera daisy so I rarely used them as a florist. But I think they're adorable and perfect for a kiddie party, so I bought 3 bunches from Traders Joe's and spread them around the house for the party.

I threw away most of the decor, but just couldn't toss these Pesto and Basil heads. I'm sure they will come in handy some day.

The few vases I kept after selling off my supplies. I'll use these babies forever!

Right after I washed and folded these drapes, Sisi managed to pull them off the table and roll around in them on the dirty floor.

Bird watching.

Escargeot shells keep fussy babies entertained.

My in-laws treated me to wonderful Austrian cuisine for my birthday. I was going to just combine my and Sisi's bdays, but I admit it was nice to be spoiled a little on my own special day. I ordered duck breast with cherry brandy sauce, with sweet red cabbage and spatzle.

Sometimes getting cute pics of baby sleeping is well worth the risk of waking her up.

It's hot spot central over here, hence the cone of shame.

lots and lots and lots of citrus, mostly gifted.

baby LOVES her sardines.

so does Pesto...

"FUN-stration"

2012-02-02T11:33:00.000-08:00

Siena at 4 months

funstration [fuhn-strey-shuhn]: noun. an intense state of being both delighted and frustrated at the same time.

I discovered this new emotion (that Joe cleverly named) when I took Sisi to Party City to shop for her birthday party, and they gave her a free helium balloon. Sisi looked up, mouth wide open in wonder, babbled, and smiled. I thanked the Party City gal and said, "Yay! Now she'll be entertained for the next hour."

When we got home, I gave her the balloon to play with. Try to picture this, because I didn't get any video footage:

More babbling, more smiles as she pulls the string back and forth and the balloon bobs in the air. Then suddenly, tears and wailing, as the balloon bops her in the head. Then a second later, cheerful babbles as she kisses the balloon. Then crazy ape tantrum as she kicks and screams on the floor. Then, she sits back up and sings as she caresses the balloon. Then, she's balling again and trying to bite the balloon.

I'm standing there, staring in amazement, not sure whether to kill the balloon or let her work out her funstration. What's a parent to do?

I tell her I'm taking the balloon away, let it rise to the ceiling, and welcome her to my lap for cuddles. She points to the balloon and says, "mama!", asking me to get it for her. I decide to give it another try, and the same Jekyl and Hyde fun-strated episode occurs. I decide it's nap time, and stab the balloon to death once she's fast asleep.

But guess what Nana brought Sisi for her birthday a few days later? A big shiny mylar balloon. The second I saw that thing, I knew we were in for trouble.

Parents, tell me, have you ever witness a "fun-stration tantrum"? What did you do? Why do you think this happens?

First Year Photo Shoot!

2012-01-29T15:26:00.000-08:00

I am in love with these pictures! The conditions were less than ideal- for the first time ever, Sisi had refused her second nap that day (she's going through that infamous 2-1 nap transition) so she was uber-cranky. Also, I chose The Lab Antimall as the location because it's colorful and quirky, not knowing that they tend to kick out photographers. Oops! Of course, Trista worked with it, we stuck to the alleys and perimeter so we couldn't get caught, and in 45 minutes, captured some really priceless moments. She is so talented, and I'm so blessed to call her a friend.

Without further adieu:

I love my little chubby monster :) These are just a few of my favs, check out the full post on Trista's blog!

P.S. DIY tutorial for the "I'm This Many" onesie coming soon!
P.P.S. I got that adorable monster hat on etsy from justbehappy. Super pleased with her products and customer service :)

Instafriday 1/27/2012

2012-01-27T06:00:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of the last year of my twenties. Crazy! I still feed like a high school kid sometimes. I still have dreams about being late for AP History and roaming around the school in my pajamas.

Didn't take that many cell phone pics this week- I've been busy preparing for Siena's puppy party on Saturday. Lots of people rsvp'd last minute, and it looks like we'll be squeezing 40ish people into our humble home. So excited though! I just want to celebrate this crazy/wonderful year!

I make a much less sweet, but just as delish version of thai iced tea using these tea bags, heavy cream, and honey. A nice change from my morning coffee or chai.

Big girl, drinking raw goat's milk once a day, and nursing 3x a day. Can't believe she used to nurse like 14 times a day! BTW, I made her shirt using freezer paper and my new silhouette cameo :)

Thanks grandma and grandpa for the talking Winnie the Pooh!

My hubby made his own lunch, and it was actually pretty! How many guys out there can do that?

Sisi's first bday present! She's been wearing that giant necklace around the house lately.

Another delicious bacon-filled paleo frittata.

Siena, me and Jenny celebrating all 3 of our birthdays with a lovely Euro-Vietnamese breakfast. Yay for Vietnamese Iced Coffee and the hyper productivity that ensued for the 10 hour duration of my coffee buzz..

A preview of Sisi's party decor.

Sorry Pesto, I know you're a boy, but your die cut just needed that pop of red.

Thursday evenings, Joe meets me and Sisi at a coffee shop after work. He takes Sisi home and tucks her in, while I stay there and read. Right now I'm reading Respectable Sins for my Bible Study group. Super convicting, yet not legalistic or guilt provoking. It's wonderful!

Easy Bouncy Curls (for flat half-asian hair)...

2012-01-24T11:42:00.000-08:00

Or for anyone with stick straight no-volume hair, like me. I hear lots of half asian gals complain about this, since we have the straight hair of our asian parent, but without that thick, gorgeous glossiness that full asian hair tends to have. Sorry if I'm "hair-eotyping" a little bit.

For Siena's 1 year photo shoot, I wanted some volume and curl that would last throughout the day. My hot rollers make a beautiful curl, but it doesn't last longer than a few hours. I stumbled upon this wonderful no-heat curl tutorial which uses nothing but a little gel/mouse and a stretchy elastic headband. Definitely check out Paper Mama's very thorough tutorial!

Here's how it worked for me:

Post shower and upside-down blow dry (just the slightest bit damp), with a little Big Fat Hair worked in.

Definitely comfy enough to wear to bed with no issues. Way better than my paper towel rag curls I used to do almost every day in high school.

Am I crazy for thinking that with a pretty beaded headband, this might be a nice Grecian updo? Well, at least it's not to embarrassing to run to the grocery store like this.

The next morning: I was definitely surprised that the strands stayed put.

Here's where I freaked out- a little too Shirley Temple for my tastes. Before I jumped into the shower or did what we're all not supposed to do (brush the curls out frantically, resulting in a fro), I went about my daily tasks and decided to see if they would calm down.

They did! I finger combed the curls, and pinned back my growing out bangs. The soft curls lasted til the next day!

I'm This Many!!!

2012-01-20T09:58:00.000-08:00

Trista Lerit was so sweet to send this teaser over just in time for Sisi's birthday. Can't wait to see the rest! THANKS TRISTA! You are the best auntie and friend ever!

One Year Ago...

2012-01-19T21:32:00.000-08:00

... there was a giant blowup jacuzzi heated up to 98 degrees in my living room. I was reading InStyle magazine in a bubble bath, trying to calm my nerves. I had your first outfit- a tiny little cap, onesie, booties, and like 20 receiving blankets laid out in your empty nursery, just waiting for you. I wasn't 100% sure I would meet you tomorrow, but let's just say I wasn't surprised when you started break-dancing in my belly, getting into primo position. Then that night, my water broke. I was so focused on giving you a peaceful and calm entrance into the world (Sorry I screamed and hollered so loudly! It wasn't your fault.) I couldn't begin to comprehend what life would be like with you outside of me.

You immediately went to sleep cradled in my armpit. I had no idea what I was doing and my mind was racing with what ifs, but you still felt totally safe in my presence. Because I'm your mama. I'm the mommy God gave you (I used to repeat that to myself all the time because it didn't seem real!) That night, you slept bundled up between me and daddy, breathing quick, newborn breaths.We didn't sleep at all. "Her nose is whistling, her breathing is irregular. She keeps moaning! Should we call the midwife???" But you were just fine, your lungs were getting used to dry Winter air.

My dear, sweet Siena, it's been beautiful. Both of us have had our cranky moments and meltdowns, but we've had so many intensely wonderful "rainbows shooting out my butt"* moments too. And there are the times when you are sleeping, and daddy and I come quietly creeping into your bedroom just to see what funny position you've landed in. We study your peaceful face, your quiet breathing in and out, and your chubby onesied body sleeping in snow angel position atop a pile of stuffed animals (moo cow clutched in your hands.) A warm feeling comes over us, and our heart literally hurts a little, just stretching to hold all the love we have for you. Sometimes we creep into your bedroom two or three times. Yes, we are stalkers, in the best possible way.

My sweet almost 1 year old daughter, you are truly a gift from God. May this next year be filled with lots and lots of belly laughs and "rainbow butt" moments ;)

Love,
Mommy

*Yes Sisi, I said the word butt. It's just, sometimes I feel so much joy it's like riding on a rainbow. Best way I've heard that feeling described.

Proud Mama Moment: Siena Featured!

2012-01-18T21:39:00.000-08:00

I posted this video a little while back. Besides being sooo cute, what important lessons can we learn from Siena's break-dancing? Check out this post on Janet Lansbury's blog, Elevating Childcare, to find out!

I've linked to this blog before (when I talked about sharing here, and when I talked about play pens here) because it offered insights about nurturing babies' independence. I could very well have been a hover mom, micromanaging Sisi's playtime, thinking that made me an involved parent. I certainly started out that way. But the RIE parenting approach that Janet advocates on her blog have helped bring joy and confidence to me as a mom, and helped Siena explore the world on her own and come up with the coolest ways of entertaining herself, like breakdancing (which she did right in the middle of Barnes and Noble today ;)

A Comment About Venting v. Complaining

2012-01-17T20:12:00.000-08:00

This guest blog post on Geek In Heels (one of my favorite blogs!) really struck me. I'll leave it to you to read it if you have the time and desire, but here's the gist:

Basically, it discusses an NPR article about how stinkin' hard parenting is, and how most moms feel totally unprepared for this and surprised that no one warned them. Just as I was nodding in agreement, ready to call all my pregnant friends and give them my top 10 reasons why raising a kid is the most thankless job in the world, the author surprised me. She said ummm... what? Isn't the negative, yucky, exhausting side of parenthood all parents ever talk about? Don't we seem to relish in these nightmarish stories and find instant comraderie with others who will whine with us? She's sick of all the complaining, and thinks perhaps we need to toughen up and have a more positive outlook on life in general, like our parents' generation.

Here is the comment I left:

"i’m a new mom (baby is almost 10 months) and i’ve been thinking about your post all day- super thought provoking! like another commenter said, people told me all about how physically taxing it would be (heard lots of “sleep now while you can!” when i was pregnant) but i was not really warned about the emotional and spiritual toll motherhood would take on me in the beginning. i was not told about the intense fight or flight response that would surge through me every time baby cried, or the depression that would hit each time the sun went down. when i shared these feelings with parents, they were sympathetic, but didn't quite seem to get it. when i vented these same feelings with my peers, they totally understood and made me feel validated. so in the beginning, i think my complaining was totally necessary. group therapy, if you will.

BUT when my hormones were back on track and motherhood was becoming my “new normal”, my venting turned into whining. i really think this stemmed from 1) my perfectionism- wanting baby to be/act/sleep perfect, and wanting to be the perfect mom but failing constantly 2)wayyy too much info online making me hyper-aware of everything baby was doing or not doing 3) i’m just a wuss, straight up! i’ve had a relatively easy, comfortable life and motherhood is not easy, or comfortable.

then a few months ago, i stopped whining. like, pretty much cold turkey. my 11 year old cousin was dying of cancer at the time, and I felt it was a slap in his parents’ faces to complain about how “hard” it is to care for my healthy, vibrant baby girl. a few middle of the night wakings is nothing compared to what his parents had to do- comfort him all night long as he vomited, inject medicine into him constantly, and prepare to say goodbye to him for good. they never lost hope, and they never wallowed in self-pity. just like that, my whole perspective on motherhood changed. i now enjoy motn feedings, and make sure to kiss baby and stroke her little head while i enjoy the stillness of the night. my cousin is gone, and i know his parents would do ANYTHING to hold him again."

**edit: I still whine, it's just not my prevailing attitude as a mom anymore, praise the Lord.
***Siena turns 1 year in just a few days, and when people ask me how motherhood is, I still feel the need to talk about how hard it was in the beginning. If you've followed our journey on this blog, you know that at around 6 months we found our stride, and I started to LOVE motherhood, but I still don't feel genuine if I fail to mention that I did not handle the newborn stage well, AT ALL. Why can't I just let it go? My perspective certainly changed after my dear cousin passed away, but the sting of postpartum depression (or my teeny mini version of it) is still fresh. I really hope that once Siena turns 1, I can look ahead with hope and excitement instead of hold onto the regret I have from the first months. I guess that's my New Year's Resolution...

Any thoughts on this topic? Not even related to motherhood, just life in general?

Instafriday 1/13/11

2012-01-13T09:28:00.000-08:00

Linking up with Life Rearranged for another instafriday! The theme of this week was BALLS! Let me clarify---Tack balls, fabric balls, wool balls, baby toy balls, dog toy balls, balls of cake (cake pops)... I was way too busy to take pics of everything, but here's a snippet:

The centerpieces for my best friend's baby shower. It was SUCH an incredible day.

When these wool balls arrived off of etsy (also for Angel's shower), I did the happy dance!

Beautifully packaged, even the etsy supply sellers make their items feel like a special gift. That's why I love etsy so much! (these were made to order in Angel's nursery colors by mylittlekawaii)

Pesto is Sisi's best friend.

She loves when he licks off baby food residue from her face. I should probably prevent it, but I don't.

Flower shopping, for Angels' shower. Look at those daffodils!

And these delicate paperwhites!

Here's what became of the wool balls- lots of faux craspedia to add to the arrangements.

My 2nd cameo project, which required like 10 pieces of sacrificial cardstock to get the settings just right. I think I'm getting a hang of the cameo though! It's an incredible little gadget.

My sister's Christmas gift to me- a 3 step mascara process. Primer, mascara, and these crazy (sorta creepy) little fuzzy hairs that you brush onto your wet lashes. Then repeat. Normally, I just curl my lashes and walk out the door, but Angel's shower seemed the occasion to try out this lash trilogy.

It did make my lashes super long and fake looking after just 1 coat.

The braised short ribs at Lucques- so melt-in-your -mouth good I wanted to cry, because I know I won't be able to eat them again until I'm rich. I'll just have to wait, but in the meantime, I've got creamy horseradish on my mind...

How was your week? This weekend, we'll be helping my mom move into her new beach pad (she is letting me take up prime closet real estate with my surfboard, so hopefully I'll really really really get back into surfing this summer and burn off the remaining baby belly for good)

Paleo Treat: Coconut Manna

2012-01-12T16:58:00.000-08:00

Coconut manna. Doesn't that name intrigue you? Like manna sent from Heaven?

Paleo dieters just LOVE coconut. It really is a miracle food, and they use it for everything, including cooking, beauty, hydration (coconut water is a substitute for IV fluid in the tropics), and diaper rash. Since strict paleo dieters don't eat peanuts and tend to go light on nuts in general, coconut manna is a great alternative to peanut or almond butter.

Here's what the label says: "Coconut Manna™ is a delicious whole food, made of pure, dried coconut flesh. This tropical "melts in your mouth" treat contains 12% fiber and 9% protein and nourishing fats."

(BTW, From what I can tell, coconut manna and coconut butter are the same thing.)

The verdict: When you open the jar, you'll see that the oil has risen to the top. You have to soak the jar in hot water for a few minutes, then mix it all together. Then take a big spoonful, and...it wasn't life changing or anything, but that stuff is really good. As far as paleo "treats" go, this is the only one I get really excited about. It's slightly salty, sweet, and very, very rich. One bite and you don't want to eat for a few hours. Once the jar cools again, the butter gets hard and crumbly. If you want a creamy nut butter, you'll have to rewarm it every time. But we like it crumbly. We eat little chunks throughout the day as a treat.

Siena loves the stuff. Just a few little crumbles on her high chair tray and she goes nuts. She savors it as it melts in her mouth and she goes hunting for every last crumb to devour. I'm fully convinced babies DO NOT need sugary treats. Coconut manna gives her more pleasure than a plate full of oreos used to give me.

The texture of coconut manna reminds me of the creamy, crumbly inside of a peanut butter ball. So I created this recipe that was a big hit at our Christmas party among the paleo crowd. (It was 50% successful among the non-paleo crowd who wished it was sweeter.) It's a dessert that I didn't feel guilty giving to my child, which makes it the best ever.

PALEO COCONUT MANNA BALLS

Ingredients: (this made about 20 balls)

1/4 cup coconut butter/manna (melted)
1/2 cup coconut flour
1/4 cup coconut oil (melted)
1/4 cup (or more if you want it really sweet) honey or real maple syrup (there is some disagreement on whether honey and syrup are ok in the paleo world, but since I don't care for Stevia, it's the best I can do)
dark chocolate chips or pure cocoa powder

Directions:

line a cookie sheet with wax paper
in a mixing bowl, mix together the coconut butter, flour, oil and syrup/honey.
Form into balls and place on the cookie sheet.
melt your chocolate chips over low heat, and dip or drizzle balls with chocolate to your liking. I liked them drenched in chocolate. If you are a super strict paleo person, then simply roll the balls in cocoa powder for a completely paleo-legit dessert.
place in the fridge to cool and harden.

Instafriday 1/6/12

2012-01-06T06:00:00.000-08:00

Linking up with Life Rearranged for another instafriday, where I unload my cell phone pics from the week. A very baby-saturated and craft-saturated week.

At Barnes and Noble Jr., playing with the big kids, wearing her lily pad headband.

Joe must always spike Siena's hair after her bath with baby oil. It's part of the night night routine.

I decided to tackle my sewing machine insecurities and make a few things outside my comfort zone. This pleated pillow turned out pretty cute, despite having to take it apart and put it back together a few times. I'm too "artistic" (read: impatient) to measure anything out, so I just eyeball it. Sometimes it works, and somethings it goes horribly wrong.

Baby feet covered in backyard mud (not poop.)

More pillows in the making.

Gossip at the water cooler...

It came! I'm thinking it will revolutionize the way I craft for business and pleasure, although I'm too intimidated to actually use it yet. I just want the first project to be special :)

Thanks Auntie Christine for the piggy hat!

This weekend, I'll be a craft ninja, finishing up all the decor for my best friend's baby shower next week, and brainstorming for Siena's puppy themed party!

I'm Pro Play Pen

2012-01-02T15:36:00.000-08:00

Here's another parenting topic I never thought could be controversial- PLAY PENS.

Pictures taken by Trista!

I used to have a low view of play pens. When I was pregnant, a pack n play was most definitely NOT on the registry. Funny how things change! In my short experience as a mom, play pens have been a blessing. Baby has a safe place to play, and I get 20 or 30 minutes of alone time. When Sisi was about 5 months, I built independent play times into her schedule. After she wakes up from each nap, I turn on the lights and put a few toys/books into her crib, then I walk out the door. She'll play in her crib on her own for about 20-30 minutes until it's time to pack away the toys and get on with the day. She protested this plan at first, wanting me to scoop her up right away. It took a week or so to change her expectations, but now she expects to play on her own when she wakes up. I also give her alone time in the pack and play, high chair, or baby bjorn bouncer whenever I just need a little space.

I understand that every baby is different. Some are more independent than others from birth. In general, I think Siena has a pretty independent personality. But I also think that giving her safe spots to explore without me, and not rushing in to scoop her up at every whimper or protest has helped to set a certain tone of independence in our household.

Here are some observations:

Siena's attention span is significantly longer in the play pen/crib. In fact, the fewer toys I put in there with her, the longer she stays occupied, finding new ways to explore and manipulate the objects.
She might be grumpy about playing on her own for a few minutes, but almost always ends up enjoying herself. I let her cry if she needs to, because it's a way of expressing her frustration and emotions. I used to HATE when my dad would tell me to stop crying. Anyway, this is a topic for another day.
Giving her play breaks in her crib has allowed her to fall asleep very easily on her own in the crib. She is super comfortable being alone in her room during the day, which translates to bed time as well.
Communicating helps- I tell her it's time to play in her crib while I rest for a few minutes, and that I'll be back to get her soon. When I don't take the time to explain what's going on, she's more apt to protest.
I don't push it too hard if she's terribly grumpy, overtired, hungry, or teething. There are some moments when she just needs mama cuddles, and that's ok!

Ok, so then why on earth is this a controversial topic? Because play pens are seen as "cages" and they go against the attachment parenting model of "babywearing". Dr. Sear's negative view of playpens (he lumps them together with things he doesn't approve of like spanking, scheduling, and bottle feeding on his website) kind of peeves me. First of all, babies have no idea what a cage is. That's an adult association that means absolutely nothing to a baby. I believe in babywearing if you want to. Heck, I have 2 moby wraps, a ring sling, a peanut shell, and an ergo, so I'm obviously not against it, especially for newborns. BUT, I really do believe a play pen can be just as cozy, happy, and secure a place for baby to stretch and move about a just be, without being entertained or told how to play.

And I can't help but address this- some of Dr. Sear's terminology about the subject actually freaks me out. He talks over and over about babywearing "humanizing" babies. "Proximity increases interaction, and baby can constantly be learning how to be human. Carried babies are intimately involved in their parents' world because they participate in what mother and father are doing. A baby worn while a parent washes dishes, for example, hears, smells, sees, and experiences in depth the adult world. He is more exposed to and involved in what is going on around him. Baby learns much in the arms of a busy person."

Umm, Siena is already human thank-you-very-much, and although she LOVES and NEEDS my touch and guidance, she doesn't need it constantly. She learns so much from being left alone to explore her own little corner of the world, and interact with it in her own way. That's part of being human. Plus, I really feel like having those moments of separation during the day (and at night when she's sleeping in her crib) rejuvenates ME and gives me energy to give her my full, undivided attention when we are interacting and playing together. Quality togetherness time, not quantity.

Any thoughts on the topic?

**For those who aren't sure how to start implementing independent play time, I recommend the book Dream Baby Guide by Sheyne Rowley, and maybe take a look at this article by Janet Lansbury (who is the coolest lady ever.)**

Sisi's Bday Party- Update

2011-12-30T22:13:00.000-08:00

A sweet shot Trista took one day when we were chilling at her house.

I am indeed throwing Siena a first birthday party. It will take place the day after my (29th!!! Yikes!) birthday, at my humble home, and I will try to keep it low key.

I wanted to can the whole thing because I worried that I would obsess over the details and dish out too much money for a party Siena won't even care about. I have the tendency to go a little overboard in an attempt to make things "blog-worthy". Then I get all tangled up in mixed motives, and these fun projects become a burden. The wedding biz can do that to ya. Just being honest!

But I DO want to throw her a little shindig, mostly to thank our loved ones for their love, support, and patience as we navigated/stumbled through this first year of parenthood. Anyway, it turns out I'm co-hosting a baby shower for my best friend (the one who threw my incredible "earth mama" shower) the very week before Siena's bday. That's a good thing! I won't have the time or energy to go buck wild on Sisi's party.

Here are the rules to keep me in check.

This is not a wedding, it's a little baby's birthday party. I will not rent furniture, linens, or use real plates. I will not design letterpress invitations. I will send out an evite and use paper plates and plastic silverware like most average American folk. (BTW, not judging people who go all out for parties- I LOVE attending extravagent soirees, I just don't have the means to throw one.)
But I have permission to make it pretty, using the myriad of craft supplies I already own. Got that Kristin? Don't buy anything. Work with what ya got.
The one exception to above rule- I bought a Sihouette Cameo cutter as a Christmas present to myself, which I'm sooo stoked about!!! I pledge to use the cameo for EVERYTHING- banners, garlands, stickers, signage. This party will be my Silhouette Cameo crash course.
It will be open house style, with drinks, appetizers, snacks, and desserts. No gourmet food truck, no extravagant mini dessert bar, no signature cocktails. I only say this because all these ideas ran through my mind until I smacked myself back into reality. Repeat, this is a baby's birthday party.
I will only serve food that I wouldn't feel guilty giving to Siena (not counting the alcohol). It won't all be paleo, but it will be organic, real food. Hope you guys still want to come :)
I will try to make this fun for Sisi. That means scheduling it between her naps, making sure she has a "no-cheek-pinching" safe zone, and setting up a kid's play area in the backyard.

How do you guys feel about first birthday parties? Are they worth the effort? Any tips for me on what details are worth focusing on, or tips for throwing a smooth open house? Parties scare me a little. Yup, I'm officially intimidated by this whole thing.

I'll let you know the theme of the party soon!

Instafriday

2011-12-30T06:00:00.000-08:00

Instafriday already?

A week of Christmas merriment, crafting, and old fashioned frolicking. Best of all, Joe's been able to accompany us on all our adventures (yay for government jobs with LOTS of days off! don't hate!)

Sisi and I went exploring at the coolest handmade mall, OC Mart Mix in Costa Mesa. Tons of boutiques selling eco-friendly and locally made goods.

look at those peonies!

The highlight of the OC Mart Mix- Portola Coffee Lab, where the baristas wear lab coats and use mad scientist-like machinery. It's all very complicated looking. Best iced mocha I've had in a long time (although I was a hyper chipmunk allllll night long, and even woke up hyper the next morning.)

Christmas Day with the family, cuddling with my sis' cavalier.

Handbeaded holly.

Joe's family always has a paper fight after presents. It goes on for an awkwardly long time, and I just huddle in a corner trying to find a happy place.

A gift from our paleo friends. It's delicious and has a high heat tolerance, which makes it ideal for frying.

Anxious dogs benefit from doggy massages...

My husband's very ugly but adorable felt gift tags. He tried!

Leftover cooler ice- closest thing to a "snow day" we Californians get!

Strolling in Laguna Beach.

A good dose of vitamin D from the sun, and minerals from the sand she kept eating.

I call these "amaze-balls". Styrofoam balls covered in thumb tacks, which will be painted bright colors. Making a ton of these for a special event coming up! (thumb tack ball tutorial at Landee See, Landee Do)

Siena Breakdances

2011-12-26T07:37:00.000-08:00

Christmas was lovely, and it's still not over! Siena fell asleep last night before we opened our stockings, so we still have that to look forward to. How was your's?

I happened to capture a pretty special moment over the weekend...

It's quite a milestone when baby can entertain herself with nothing but her own movements. Movement for the sheer joy of it!

Instafriday #3

2011-12-23T07:12:00.000-08:00

Linking up with Life Rearranged for Instafriday. Take a peek at my week!

this is our 2 week egg supply, fresh from the farmer's market

my childhood best friend, from New York for a visit

libraries are the BEST place to burn off energy before a car ride

baby legs, just before a tubby

pig clippies

beet lip gloss!

yin and yang, cheek to cheek

This weekend, we're doing a Korean Christmas Eve with my family (Korean bbq and kimchi galore) and a traditional dinner with Joe's family on Christmas Day. This is one of those times I'm really grateful for my multicultural background- two turkey dinners in one weekend is just too much!

Merry Christmas- Glory to God in the highest!

Siena at 11 Months

2011-12-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

Whoa, one more month until Sisi's birthday. I'm seriously so weepy about it. But technically, she's still a "baby" until her 2nd birthday, right? I always told people I'm not a baby person, I'm a toddler person. But now I'm butt-crazy in love with THIS baby.

The rest of her body has leaned up, but she's still got her chubby cheeks.


Sing it, Mariah Carey!

Yes, I'm tearing up right now just looking at these sweet images. Thank you Joe for taking these!

Siena at a glace:

her 3rd word is "li li" (lion).
we've just made it out of the thick of Wonder Week 47- thank goodness! Now we're seeing all the new things she can do, like...
open and close containers (even tricky twist tops)
change the dials on her play piano
offer us pieces of her food (usually the veggies that she doesn't want)
and help us dress her.
she's still a fabulous eater, and now we're introducing bits of citrus fruit, coconut manna, stew meat, and bone marrow.
naps twice a day, puts herself to sleep by curling up in a ball, butt high in the air, and caressing her moo cow blanket.
still not sleeping through the night but I'm having a hard time caring. i've come so far!
awesome at imitating sing-songy sounds, like "fa la la la la, la la la la."
her top lateral incisors just poked through the other day. So she has 6 teeth!

Tiny Pig and Mouse

2011-12-20T15:59:00.000-08:00

I suppose I could wait to show you these when I do Sisi's 11 month post, but I just can't. These little guys are just too cute. Sisi wore them to the mall today, and we got all sorts of compliments. Too bad the inspiration for these guys didn't hit earlier, since they would have been perfect stocking stuffers. Next year!

I was on a roll, so I whipped up a few nerdy mice with button glasses.

More animals in the works! Find pig and mouse in the etsy shop!

How to transform a grocery store bouquet

2011-12-19T11:33:00.000-08:00

Howdy! Real quick, stop by my Australian "pen pal" Lacey's blog, A Fruitful Life, to see me (in all my awkward glory) in a video tutorial about transforming a cheap grocery store bouquet into something more special. It's my first vlog, and features a Siena cameo :)

Instafriday #2

2011-12-16T07:30:00.000-08:00

Linking up with Life Rearranged for instafriday, where I can unload my cell phone pics. I have a droid by the way, and use Retro Camera not Instagram, but it still counts.

A weekend road trip to San Jose that was supposed to take just 7 hours ended up taking 13 hours, with all the stops. The key to keeping baby happy on a road trip is being strategic and plan ahead- Joe had an itinerary that included pit stops at parks, wineries, and this candy shop, where we let her run loose.

Yeah, it's nasty that we let her crawl on the floor, but oh well. That's what tubbies are for!

No more raw milk to make chai? Ok, I'll just use heavy whipping cream instead. Joe says it's good for me.

The dogs love to go on walks with me and the baby, but I look like a hot mess trying to keep everyone in line.

Let me sleep!

Thankful that our neighbor's lemon tree keeps showering our property with lemons.

Because this is what our lemon tree looks like. Our soil is cursed!!!

DIY Folded Fabric Necklace Tutorial

2011-12-15T06:00:00.000-08:00

Ever since I learned to make kanzashi petals for my baby headbands, I thought the petals would be darling in a necklace. My first few attempts looked ridiculous, like Austin Power's crooked teeth. But eventually I found a way to make the petals cooperate, and look all ladylike in a row. I was so jazzed about this necklace, I whipped up this tutorial. Thanks so much to my wonderful friend Trista Lerit for photographing the steps!

This would make a super special holiday gift, and you can scrounge up the materials from your own fabric and bauble stash. If you're not the DIY type or just can't be bothered, I recently listed two super cute fabric necklaces in the etsy shop.

Materials:

2 strands of rope, each about 2 feet long
10 square fabric scraps around 3 to 4 inches in diameter
lace or tulle squares of the same size for layering (optional)
an extra 6" strip of scrap fabric
dental floss
needle
fabric glue

Note on choosing fabric: Thicker fabrics hold the petal shape best. If using thinner, silkier fabric, double it up. For this necklace, I used squares cut from some soft woolen material and lace I had around the house.

Instructions:

Prepare rope ties by making a simple knot at the end with a small loop. Prepare your needle and thread- we used waxed dental floss because it's super sturdy.
Fold the first square in half, corner to corner, forming a triangle.
Fold the two sides of triangle up to the point.
Turn it over, and fold the top point down 1/3 of the way. This step is really important, and makes the petal look a little different than the traditional kanzashi fold.
Fold in the two side corners to the midline, in paper airplane fashion.
Fold the entire triangle in half backward, bringing the two midline folds together, and delight in the super cute petal shape you've created.
String dental floss through the petal, being sure to catch all the layers. Attach this first petal to the rope by pulling the needle through looped rope, then string floss back through the petal the other way, and do a lock stitch to hold the petal in place.
Now string all 9 other petals in a line. On the last petal, pull the needle through the rope loop and back through the petal, as you did with the first petal, to attach it to the other rope. Secure with a lock stitch.
Turn the necklace over, and glue some extra fabric as a backing. Cut away the excess carefully.
I layered the wool with lace on some of the petals for a feminine touch, and tied on some lace trim.

****Enjoy this fun and strangely addicting project! But please, be courteous. This tutorial is for personal use only. Do not reproduce this design for sale. Thanks!

Lacking in Christmas Spirit

2011-12-14T11:19:00.000-08:00

You can't say I'm not trying- the Christmas music plays, pine-scented candles burn (to make up for our fake tree's lack of scent), and I'm drinking a hot chai tea. All the elements are there, but I'm just not feelin' it. "It" being that warm, endorphin-filled holiday rush that I usually feel. Being a psych major and a sorta reflective person, I just can't stop thinking about WHY this is happening. After analyzing a little bit, here's my conclusion. (Sadly, I think this list reveals how superficial my "Christmas Spirit" has been in past years.)

1. The Baby- Every day is a whirlwind of feeding, nursing, cooking, and changing, and there hasn't been much time to veg out in front of "Elf", window shop, or bake Christmas cookies. This is a pathetic excuse, since I know mommy's of 4 kids who do all this stuff, and much more. I guess I'm just a wuss!

then I realize, shouldn't having a baby fill me with even more Christmas spirit as I think about the story of baby Jesus, come to save sinners like me? How helpless and innocent He was, yet filled with the power and glory of God? Whoa, that's pretty crazy.

2. Our Super Strict Budget- which prevents me from enjoying all those little holiday splurges, like buying myself a new scarf and sparkly red nail polish just because, purchasing special ornaments for the tree, stopping by Coffee Bean for a daily dose of liquid sugar (aka Winter Dream Tea lattes). I'm also being less extravagant with gifts, and that's no fun.

then I realize, this gives me an excuse to be creative and resourceful with my splurges- make my own tea lattes, craft my own decor and gifts, and just borrow cute Winter clothes and nail polish from my rich friends (not really kidding here.) And I just need to remember Chico and the goal.

3. The Paleo Diet- Christmas is all about the food, right? Baked goods, peanut brittle, fudge, yummmm. And although I'm no perfectionist when it comes to this diet, I can't go buck wild on this stuff without feeling really guilty and physically ill. Yes, that's one things about the Paleo diet- my sugar tolerance has gone way down and my stomach immediately starts to cramp up if I eat a cupcake.

then I realize, there's nothing wrong with REAL FOOD. How cool would it be to come up with healthy holiday treats that I can make every year? I sometimes feel sorry for how "treat deprived" Siena is, but really she has no idea what she's missing and she loves absolutely everything under the sun, including beef hearts and cod liver oil.

I guess Christmas has a deeper meaning beyond treats and sparkles and Tim Allen movies. I always knew that, but I'm just now starting to get it. Even if I'm not "feelin' it", it doesn't change what objectively happened that Christmas day long ago. Christ was sent to Earth as the long-awaited Savior, born to die for our sins. This truth isn't warm and fuzzy, but it does fill my heart with true joy. The two don't always go hand in hand.

waiting for our friend to walk down the aisle

Instafriday #1

2011-12-09T08:35:00.000-08:00

Linking up with Jeannett at Life Rearranged for Instafriday! This gives me the chance to unload all the warm fuzzy moments captured via cell phone pics from the week. I'll try to do this regularly, mostly because I've been awful at keeping my baby book (even though Angel gave me the most lovely album) and I figure I should at least store some memories here. Hopefully the internetz will still be around when she's older :)

starbucks date with my big sis

breakfast leftovers for lunch, with lots of gouda on top

the gorilla crawl- sisi's preferred mode of transport

baby toes

flip flops in december

another upcycling project- added ruffles to an otherwise blah baby shirt

liver lips

remembering when it was just the three of us

baby's first balloon

strollin'

stopping to smell the flowers

pretty much getting used to how messy babies are

We're off on a mini road trip to Berkeley for a wedding. We've stockpiled sardines, canned salmon, and hard boiled eggs and are hoping for the best! Enjoy the weekend!

Make It New: Pajama Stockings

2011-12-06T11:06:00.000-08:00

As you now know, I make lists before I buy anything. A Christmas stocking for Siena tops my latest list. By some mind trick, instead of that retail therapy high I used to get from buying things, I now get a rush from finding ways to NOT buy things. Joe jokingly said I should just use some of her old baby clothes piled up in the garage to make a stocking. An excellent idea, hubs!

I took a brown receiving blanket, an Aiden and Anais swaddle blanket, and an outgrown terrycloth pajama, hacked them up, and then created this little Mary Jane stocking.

Sidenotes:

1) I really like the idea of "upcycling", but I think it will get some getting used to. Cutting up those blankets and pajamas just felt so wrong, kinda like hacking into raw meat for the first time. Sometimes destruction is necessary to make something useful again.

2) I suck at machine sewing! My goodness, I cannot sew a straight line for the life of me. It feels like walking an untrained dog and getting pulled every which way. At one point, I just switched to hand-stitching because it was faster and less frustrating. Wish grown-up Kristin could tell high school Kristin to forgo cheerleading and take sewing instead. Now, does anyone know of any good online sewing classes?

3) I cried as I made this stocking. I remember just months ago wrapping her up like a little burrito with the blankets. I could have fit tiny newborn Sisi in that stocking completely, but next Christmas she'll be able to wear it like a knee sock.

In conclusion, I'm not big on the color combo, it doesn't match our traditional Christmas decor at all, and the stitching is completely amateur, but I love this little stocking because it's made of memories. And here's where I offer you some wine with my cheese. :)

On The Subject of $$

2011-12-03T11:21:00.000-08:00

Joe and I have a dream, and that is to be completely debt free. Maybe that doesn't sound exciting or even slightly glamorous, but just the thought of it brings me to tears. Just imagine owing nothing. Owning the car you drive, the house you live in and even the degree you received. What freedom!!! I love Dave Ramsey's catch phrase and repeat it to myself everyday: "Debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice."

Every dream requires sacrifice. The more we sacrifice, the faster the dream will come. We have a budget, and this budget includes a humble weekly "allowance" that we can use for whatever we want. I mean, you HAVE to have a little wiggle room to buy some iced coffee and some earrings, or you'll go nuts. We also have a "gift" allowance so we can be generous (but not tooooo generous) with others. Any leftover money we have at the end of the month gets thrown to the student loan wolves. Now, I can proudly say that my student loan and our home mortgage are all the debt we have left. :)

We have good and bad months. When Sisi was a newborn I bought all sorts of presents for myself to give me comfort. But, like with dieting or cleaning or any other discipline, all that really matters is that you pick up and keep going. One step back, two steps forward. Sorry, lots of cliches in the post.

Here are 3 simple-but-really-hard things that have completely changed the way we handle our money:

1. NO MORE CREDIT CARDS. We paid them off and then destroyed them. We didn't close our accounts for the sake of our credit, but we completely pretend like our credit cards don't exist. We only use our debit card. Even though we paid our cards in full every month, I find that, psychologically, I'm likely to buy more stuff on a credit card (a seemingly vast supply of magical money) than on a debit card, which links directly to our own little pile of money. If we spend too much and our checking balance is running dangerously low, it leaves more of a sting.

2. MAKE A LIST, THEN WAIT. When I find myself thinking of all the stuff I absolutely need right this minute(even very practical, non-extravagent things) I stop, and write it all out. Here is my most recent list:

dish soap and hand soap
tea diffuser
shoes for Siena
toy box for Siena
a few new dog toys
new kitchen broom
fabrics for the etsy shop
rainbow sandals
black leggings
panties (gross Pesto likes to steal mine and eat them.)

I wait two weeks, then write it all down again, from memory.

~~dish soap and hand soap~~ --> used a bottle of Dr. Bronner's we have under the sink.
~~tea diffuser~~-->made a makeshift one out of a coffee filter, string, and chopsticks.
~~shoes for Siena-~~->heck, shoes never stay on her. what's the point?
~~toy box for Siena~~-->used a decorative wooden box from my old florist days I found in the garage
~~a few new dog toys~~ ---> water bottles and pine cones.
new kitchen broom
~~black leggings~~ --> I will probably receive clothing gift certificates for Christmas, so I'll wait.
panties (gross Pesto likes to steal my favorites and eat them.)
hmmm what else? couldn't remember... obviously wasn't that important.

I could have easily spent hundreds of dollars on these items, but turns out the only things I cannot make myself are a broom and panties. (Props to anyone who can make their own panties, though!)

3. LIMIT THE EYE CANDY. Oyy veh, this is a hard one. It was even harder when I was smack dab in the middle of the wedding industry. ,But yeah, still hard for a twenty something like me who creates fashion accessories, has very stylish friends, and lives in one of the wealthiest towns in the country. But I do try to limit what I take in. For this reason, I'm holding off on Pinterest (although the temptation is growing), I don't watch TV, and I stopped subscribing to fashion mags (except Vogue for business purposes :)). I've also pared down my blog list to the cream of the crop. Hopefully, I'll get to the point of contentment where simply seeing something does not equal NEEDING it, but I'm not there yet.

***Readers, I'd love to hear your money-saving tips, especially related to gift-giving! That's where I'm stumped.***

Because every blog post needs a picture, let me introduce you to Chico, the tiny 5 inch tall snowman, built by Angel on a trip we took to Yosemite. Little Chico has a dream. He wants to be debt free, and by golly, he will get there someday...

FREE SHIPPING!

2011-11-25T07:18:00.000-08:00

FREE SHIPPING (domestic only) on all Petal and Thorn products, now through the January 1!

Stop by the shop!

10 Months Old

2011-11-23T07:30:00.000-08:00

I can't believe her first birthday is just 2 months away. Is it normal to burst into tears at the thought?

Siena at a glance:

Has perfected her crab walk (crawling on hands and feet with legs straight) and cruising.
Does crawling donuts (crawls in a circle over and over)
Constantly humming little ditties.
Able to eat bits of meat, like chicken, beef and pork.
If Sisi sees, Sisi wants! I must eat my own treats around the corner, like when I used to sneak cookies as a sugar-addicted child.
The "mo mo mo" thing was a phase, and I was probably reading into it too much. Her official first word is "da da". Pretty standard!
Is really into immitating us- she claps, drums, waves, pats her own head, and makes a "down" motion to the dogs. She makes a raaaarrrr sound when she sees her lion.
When I'm brushing with my sonicare, she puts her cheek against it to feel it jiggle.
Nursing 4 times a day (plus 1 night time feeding most days), and napping 2x. Night sleep is a bit whack. Let's change the subject :)
Opens every closet and empties it's contents. Forces me to keep clutter under control!
The mini-tantrums have begun!

Her headband was inspired by the flower mart flower bundles that they wrap with newspaper and tie with twine. It's available here, at the Petal and Thorn etsy shop, along with the newly listed boba headband. Also, how much did Joe rock it out with these pictures? The window one may be my favorite Sisi picture EVER. Thanks hubby!

Flowers for Rachel

2011-11-22T09:56:00.000-08:00

My good friend Rachel married her Jr. High School sweetheart on 9.10.11. It was a lively, colorful and cozy affair, so fitting of the couple. Rachel DIYed most of the decor, so I offered to do the personals. Fresh flowers are the hardest thing for a bride to do herself; I know this from personal experience. She took me up on the offer, and I was honored to be even a small part of such a cleverly-crafted wedding. I had no plan really, I just headed to the mart early with a rough recipe, and tried to pick whatever seemed Rachel-esque. Gorgeous photos by Fresh in Love.

Joe and I had such a wonderful evening eating tacos, gobbling Rachel's homemade cookies, and dancing under the stars. They were such hospitable hosts. Rachel had to pick and choose what details to focus on, as all brides do, and the ones they chose happened to be the ones guests care about most- tasty food, great DJ, yummy cocktails, and enough desserts to satisfy even me. Some brides buy a $6000.00 dress and $2000.00 shoes, but serve cold costco appetizers, because "it's MY day". This wasn't one of those weddings!

See all the planning that went into this wedding on Rachel's blog Heart of Light, and 100 Layer Cake.

*In case you're wondering, the paleo diet goes out the window at weddings and parties, and I'm ok with that!
*Also, I have nothing against Costco appetizers.

The Making of a Cocktail Hat

2011-11-19T16:09:00.000-08:00

Pick out fabrics and form.

Fleece it, then cover with silk dupioni (this takes some patience and perhaps bloody fingers.)

Adorn with a veil poof and hand-singed roses in the prettiest anenome shades.

Add the finishing touches.

Don't forget your signature!

Find a willing model. Tres chic!

P.S. Thank you for your patience with my very rudimentary picture taking. I'm a very many things, but photographer is not one of them!

Paleo Breakfast Frittata

2011-11-18T11:34:00.000-08:00

Joe and I switch off cooking breakfast every other day so that it doesn't become too much of a burden. My go-to breakfast is a paleo frittata. It's fast to make, uses up all the random vegies and meat in the fridge, and only requires one pan. I love my hubby's breakfasts, but he always manages to use every pan and utensil in the house to cook it.

KRISTIN'S PALEO FRITTATA

(illustrated with crappy cell phone pictures)

*serves 3-4 people, although my husband could probably polish off the whole thing.*

Ingredients:
1/2 small onion, cut into bits
4 slices of bacon, cut into small pieces (Trader Joe's sells "bacon ends n' pieces" if you don't feel like manhandling bacon)
1/2 pound other meat of your choice (we do ground lamb, ground beef, or chorizo sausage-whatever is in the fridge)
2 cups of random chopped vegetables (anything you might put in an omelette)
10-12 large cage free eggs
salt, pepper, mixed herbs to taste (we use Trader Joe's "Everyday Seasoning")
1/3 cup cheese, grated (raw or grassfed is most nutritious!)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400*
In an oven proof pan, cook onion and bacon together until onions are translucent.
Add meat, sprinkle salt, pepper, and seasonings, and brown (about 2 minutes).
Add vegetables, and saute with the meat (about 2 minutes).
With a spatula, smoosh down the mixture so it forms an even layer on the bottom of the pan.
In a separate bowl, whisk eggs together with salt, pepper, and herbs. Pour the egg mixture evenly over the meat mixture. Sprinkle grated cheese over the eggs.
Put the entire pan in the oven, and bake for 10-15 minutes, until eggs are fluffy and cheese is crispy.

You will have no desire to snack before or after lunch, if you can even eat lunch! Joe is down to two meals a day. HUGE breakfast, and HUGE dinner, thus cutting down on our "eating out" budget so we can pay for things like grassfed beef and cage free eggs. It all evens out in the end!

Paleo Diet Update

2011-11-15T16:50:00.000-08:00

I have indeed been going more and more "paleo" as predicted in this post. I am now 9 pounds BELOW my pre-pregnancy weight, and my digestion has been fabulous. At Joe's prompting, I even got a blood test to make sure all my levels are fine. The only downside is that my hair is insanely oily, which I've heard is a common result of a high-fat diet. Yuck! Like all the butter I eat is coming out of my head?

I'm now 80% paleo, which essentially means I eat:

mostly protein (only top notch stuff- grassfed beef, free range chicken, new zealand lamb)
vegetables
certain starches (sweet potato, squash, taro, and yucca)
some dairy (kefir, raw milk, heavy cream, and butter. Lots and lots of butter.)
Oh, and coconut EVERYTHING (milk, oil, water, etc.)

I don't (or shouldn't) eat:

pasteurized milk
grains
legumes
white potatoes
peanuts (which are a legume)
oils made from vegetables, nuts, seeds (olive oil and macademia nut oil are the exception)
soy (unless it's fermented, like tempeh)
sugar
processed foods

In moderation, I eat:

fruit
nuts

The 20% of me that isn't paleo still loves iced mochas, pastries, an occasional coke, and small amounts of white potatoes and rice. I'm definitely still addicted to sugar, but eating so much good fat and protein has made it so most of the time, I just want sugar, not need it.

My #1 piece of advice to anyone thinking of going paleo/primal/gluten free:
EAT A BIG BREAKFAST. HUGE! Filled with all the things you've been told to avoid- oils, bacon, sausage, and eggs, raw cheese, etc. Even if you don't really feel like eating breakfast. It's THE reason I've been able to stick with the diet. There's something about starting the day off with a large, nutrient dense meal that helps curb snacking and sugar cravings. It's as if your body knows it's gonna be ok, and doesn't need to seek out food constantly to keep it going throughout the day. Read a more scientific explanation of this phenomenon here :)

I'll be back in a day or two with a super tasty paleo breakfast recipe!

Milk Glass Headband

2011-11-09T09:32:00.000-08:00

After working on nothing but baby headbands for months, I had a burst of energy for bridal hair pieces last week. Sure, baby accessories are fun, but there's something very serious about creating bridal headpieces. I get nervous and inspired just thinking about it.

(I used to feel this way ALL THE TIME when I did wedding flowers. I let my assistants do centerpieces, corsages, bridesmaid bouquets, but they NEVER touched the bridal bouquet. That was something I did on my own, usually in the quiet of the night after they had left. The bridal bouquet is the most special bouquet a woman will ever touch!)

To me, the bridal hair piece is just as important as the bouquet. It's that perfect finishing touch that frames the face and makes a bride look truly bridal. When else do we modern gals have a chance to don a veil, feathered hat, or a bedazzled bug?

As I was supply shopping in LA, I came across some opaque white-ish crystals and milky stones, and I immediately thought of milk glass vases on antique store shelves.

via nobiggie

Then, as I twisted the beads randomly into clusters, forming an intricate garland, I imagined the Milky Way Galaxy, in all its grace and mystery.

Find it at the etsy shop!

First word?!?

2011-11-07T10:46:00.000-08:00

A few days ago, Sisi started making this funny panicky sound whenever there was food around. It's different than the "James Brown grunts" she does before nursing. It's a very intense "Mo, mo mo mo, MO!" type sound, that turns into a crying fit if I don't give her whatever food I'm preparing or eating.

Then it hit me. I'm pretty sure she's saying "more!" And she gets very upset if I don't meet her request accordingly, and in a timely manner. Yikes! I'm catching just a glimpse of what the toddler years will be like.

So much for "mamma", "dadda", "ball", and the other typical first words. Joe joked that we must have a little princess on our hands.

Chunky Sparkle

2011-11-04T20:51:00.000-07:00

Two sleek silver combs encrusted with twisted bits of glitz. (Hmmm, a tongue twister I'll be teaching Sisi one day.)

The icicle and pearl comb was created for a friend of mine who is getting married this winter. The rose quartz and blush crystal comb I created just for fun. It started as an excuse to watch Felicity on netflix, but it turned out sorta magical.

I think they would be stunning tucked into a bride's loose, tousled updo. They are basically the comb-in versions of my crystal bridal tiaras (the Snow Queen Tiara and the Mercury Glass Tiara).

Trick or Treat!

2011-10-31T15:18:00.000-07:00

Siena is wearing the hard candy headband. I'm redesigning it a bit before I post it on etsy- this is like a "first draft"

Tonight we'll be eating pumpkin soup and watching not-so-scary movies at our good friends' house. We'll also be attempting something we've never done before- putting Siena down to sleep at their house, and then transferring her back to our house in the middle of the night.

We'll bring the whole night night arsenal- pack n' play, musical glow worm, Goodnight Moon, night night doll and moo cow blanket. We'll tuck her into one of their sound proof rooms (they have his and her's recording studios!) and pray that she falls and stays asleep, and then does not go monkey when we wake her up at midnight.

I'm 99% sure this will be disastrous. How's that for optimism?

Happy Halloween, if you celebrate it! If not, Happy Monday! I'll leave you with pics of our recent trip to the pumpkin patch...

Siena and Leila

Probably not supposed to do that...

Fatface. Power Poof hair clip by Natty Bratty on Etsy.

Pot Roast Fail x4

2011-10-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

Does a moist, tender pot roast really exist? I have never tasted or made one, but the idea is really appealing. Take a tough, otherwise useless cut of beef, throw it in a crock pot with some vegies, broth and a few spices, and it magically turns to a tender, flavorful meal in 6-8 hours.

Joe bought 1/4 a cow, so we have a plethora of roast cuts in the freezer. I have no idea what to do with them, so I did what any modern housewife does: I googled "fool proof pot roast recipe no cream of mushroom soup", found a 5 star recipe, and went to work.

Pot Roast #1: used crock pot, seared meat, added plenty of beef broth and red wine, vegies
Cook Time: on low for 6 hours
Results: dry and tough, but at least the vegies were moist and delicious.

Pot Roast #2: seared meat, used pressure cooker, added broth, wine and vegies.
Cook Time: 45 minutes in pressure cooker
Results: dry and tough, but at least the vegies were moist and delicious.

Pot Roast #3: meat unseared, tried crock pot again, made a stuffing of olives, onions, and sundried tomatoes, added 1 cup water and spices.
Cook time: on low for 5 hours
Results: dry and tough, but at least the vegies were moist and delicious.

Pot Roast #4: went bare bones- crock pot, water 1/2 way up the meat, fresh herbs, vegies
Cook Time: on high for 3 1/2 hours
Results: dry and tough, but at least the vegies were moist and delicious.

Ok, so is the point of a pot roast to leech all the flavor and juices OUT of the pot roast and create the best vegetables you've ever tasted? If so, then I get an A+. If not, then WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? I'm so stubborn that I keep on cooking them, but I hate wasting our precious cow.

Mind you, all four attempts were listed as fool proof recipes or shared by trusted friends. #2 in the pressure cooker was the least disastrous because pressure cookers are just awesome.

Fortunately, Pot Roast #4 did not go to waste. I shredded the rock hard piece of meat and put it in a skillet with it's own juices, some caramelized onions, garlic, salt and pepper. Amazingly, the juices leeched back INTO the meat, and we ate the most delicious shredded beef tacos EVER.

New Baby Headband

2011-10-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

You may have seen this picture from last week and wondered "what is that on her head?"

Let's try a different angle...

Yep, it's the Boba Milk Tea headband!

And if you're still wondering what the heck it is, then perhaps the tapioca milk tea craze never hit your neck of the woods. Milk tea is THE reason I gained 15 pounds in 2005-2006. I've since cut it out, but I get nostalgic whenever I think of it. I'm whisked back to college finals, my 4 months in Taiwan (the CAPITOL of milk tea), and my first date with Joe, as we slurped liquid candy through oversized straws with googly eyes. I love it so much that I decided Sisi should wear it on her head :)

Customer Love :)

2011-10-25T20:31:00.000-07:00

Thanks ladies for sharing your photos! You are all stunning.

Child of Manhattan Hat

Sparkle and Flutter Butterfly Clip

Champagne Toast Cocktail Hat

the "SH" word

2011-10-24T15:13:00.000-07:00

Sharing.

I'm seeing that "sharing," "waiting your turn" and "no touch" are the buzz words on the playground. Now that I'm bringing Siena to public parks and play areas, I need to figure out where I stand on the issue. Yes, it is an "issue" and it's a little more complex than "sharing is good, taking is bad."

At 9 months, Sisi isn't too interested in other kiddos (unless they are wearing something shiny), but older babies and toddlers LOVE her! They want to pet her, touch her headband, and follow her around. They want to play with whatever she's playing with, and ride her like a horse. It cracks me up when babies who are just a little bit older than Siena point to her and say "baby" then try to cuddle her. Even though it's my instinct to hover and referee every interaction to make sure everyone is "behaving", I try my hardest to sit back, observe and let things take their course (unless I feel like someone will get hurt). Usually Sisi is totally fine, even when someone takes her toy or accidentally crawls over her in a tunnel. Occasionally she'll reach for something another child is playing with, and that child will yank it back. Does Sisi get her diapers in a bunch about it? No. But the parents sure do! Then suddenly this minute interaction becomes a big deal with a lot of tension surrounding it.

Is it a big deal, or is it wasted breath? Should we be trying to teach babies to share, and wait their turn, and keep their hands and feet to themselves before they even have a concept of those abstract ideas? Should babies work these potentially volatile interactions out on their own, or do they need us to set things straight? When do we start to teach about sharing? When do we need to set these rules?

My answers? I have no idea. I'm a FTM here, with zero infant experience. A few months ago, I would have said that parents need to keep the peace and order on the playground.

I will say, this blog post by RIE advocate Janet Lansbury (who just seems like the coolest, most gentle lady ever) and accompanying videos opened up a whole new world to me. What do you think? I'm especially curious to hear what the seasoned moms have to say about the "sharing" issue.

If those were your babies, what would you have done? Does it seem negligent to just sit back?

Sisi is 9 Months!

2011-10-21T15:13:00.000-07:00

Siena is 9 months old! This month has been a whirlwind of mental and physical growth. I heard that after 8 months, things start moving FAST. I totally agree! Several people have remarked how her features are less babyish and more "little girl" like. Very bittersweet. Stay baby, stay!

Siena at a glance:
-expert crawler and stander
-just starting to cruise
-claps very enthusiastically
-has 2 bottom teeth and 2 very jacked up top teeth, with a big ol gap in the middle. wonder where that came from? ;)
-eyes are still blue
-can stay up 3 to 4 hours at a time without getting uber-cranky, which means we're more free to go on outings to the library, mall, and park in between naps. we get out once a day, which is heavenly!
-sleeps through the night 50% of the time, or else wakes up once to feed. i told joe months ago that at 9 months, THAT WAS IT!!! we would sleep train and cut out that pesky night feeding. but honestly, now that we're here, i don't really care enough to tackle that issue. and after eavesdropping on some moms at the library who were in despair because their 2 1/2 year olds were still waking up multiple times to eat, i feel pretty lucky.
-latest culinary adventure- sardines! a convenient, nutrient packed super food. unfortunately, it makes her breath smell like sewage.
-loves feeding herself soft finger foods. this morning i gave her a spoonful of cottage cheese, and she reached into her mouth and grabbed it, put it back on her tray, and then ate the curds one at a time.
-digs in her toy box for her stuffed animals, and drags them all around the house. she could care less about her other toys right now. she's even started carrying them in her mouth while she crawls around (just like the doggies do!)
-she occasionally plays tug-of-war with the dogs. she pets them softly before bedtime.

sisi's wearing a hard candy headband. more pictures to come soon!

hard candy clip- i need to make a few tweaks to the design, and then i'll put it up on etsy!

Just Listed!

2011-10-15T10:31:00.000-07:00

A quick post to let you know I've finally gotten around to listing the Pea in the Pod, Nest, and Patchwork Posy headbands. I think all three together would be the cutest baby shower gift EVER. Check 'em out!

First Bday Theme

2011-10-08T21:30:00.000-07:00

I'm not even sure if Joe and I will throw Siena a "real" first birthday party or an outting to someplace cool like the zoo with family. I'm racking my brain, but I'll spare you the detailed pro's and con's list I made.

For now, let's suppose I'm throwing Sisi a party. Before I do any planning whatsoever, we need a theme.

What does Siena really and truly love in this life?

-Pesto and Basil --> puppy themed party?

via sugar and meringue

via dannyandjess.blogspot.com

-her monster bath toys --> monster themed party?

via bhg.com

hat by justbehappy on etsy

-shiny things --> bling bling party?

via glee projects

clips from giant dwarf on etsy

-healthy food--> cute fruit and vegie themed party?

via weheartit.com

What do you think, any favorites? If we skip a party this year, maybe we can go wild with one of these themes next year. But she'll be such a different baby by then, and maybe she won't even like those things anymore (I hope she still likes the dogs and health food though, or we'll have a problem.)

Dear Pregnant Friends...

2011-10-02T22:19:00.000-07:00

I'm delighted to be surrounded by lots of beautiful, glowing pregnant gals. They keep coming out of the woodwork!

So here is a little post about things to stock up on now for YOU. I know you are online shopping 24/7 for baby stuff, but you deserve to splurge a bit on yourself. BTW, in case you're wondering about my credentials, having 1 baby makes me THE baby expert, obviously ;)

1. stretchy tops/dresses that you can pull down easily for quick access. May as well pack away everything else for a while!

2. stud earrings

3. all natural bath products and perfume oils- regular bath products are so toxic, not the best if you're nursing. This handmade soap is Detox for Baby from Spoiled Rotten. I love it for myself- haven't tried it on baby though.

4. cute lounge wear

5. comfy flat shoes- toms, rainbow sandals, ballet flats, furry moccasins.

6. scented candles- brought me a crazy amount of joy during those early months.

7. tubs of gourmet ice cream- try Clemmy's Ice Cream or La Loo's goat milk ice cream for fresh, all-natural versions.

8. kindle- all the times I woke Sisi woke up just because I turned a page. Save yourself the frustration :)

9. cute outfit for newborn photoshoot-baby's outfit is easy (birthday suit) but think ahead about what you'll want to wear. Something figure-forgiving, casual, and easy to throw on. I remember frantically dragging my 5 day old around Target searching for something to wear. I chose a dress that wasn't flattering, and showed my sweat like crazy. A flowy maxi-dress with bare feet would have been perfect (and hid my baby bump leftovers really well.)

dress by Free People

I can't wait to see each of you become mommies. Your babies are already so blessed!!!

Sisi is 8 Months (and a few days)

2011-09-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

Although we didn't have a chance to do a formal 8 month photoshoot on our Gloucester trip, Joe captured some lovely shots while we were out and about. Sadly, I didn't get a chance to finish the headbands I was making for her. Next month, I guess!

What's new?

tongue is out 90% of her waking hours
can clumsily crawl on hands and knees
can barely pull up on furniture to standing position
making lots of syllables, especially babababa and mamamama
newest cullinary adventures- black olives, dutch gouda cheese, sips of beef stew and chicken soup, bulgarian yogurt with cinnamon
can fake cry (anytime mommy is more than 5 feet away) and fake laugh (when daddy cracks bad jokes)

I love this little lady! I really do!

Greetings from Gloucester

2011-09-19T12:22:00.000-07:00

Wish you were here!!!

So far, I've read two non-self-help books (Bossypants and My Hollywood), had my first Dunkin' Donuts coffee (wayyyy better than Starbucks!), started a puzzle, and stared at the harbor from the bay window. It's been divine, all this "time wasting."

The view from our little bedroom.

I was a little nervous watching Joe play with Siena on this grassy balcony. You know, the one with no railings that leads straight down to the rocky shore. Yikes!

This video would be a lot cuter without my annoying commentary... I would mute it, but then you wouldn't hear Siena's excited panting.

He was delicious, by the way!

Coffee Shop Family Outing

2011-09-09T14:48:00.000-07:00

Joe sipped espresso and read theology books. I ate a warm cinnamon roll and watched Sisi play happily in the kiddie corner. It was blazing hot outside but nicely air conditioned inside. Everything was peaceful, everyone was content. And I realize, THIS is how I imagined parenthood would be.

Most of the time, parenthood is nothing like my fantasies. But there are moments that far exceed my wildest dreams, like when Sisi awkwardly puts her mouth on my face- her first attempts at kissing.

I love that this coffee shop has a wonderful kid's nook with toys and books. Wish Peet's had something like that!

Then back to reality. After leaving the coffee shop, Sisi was in a horribly grumpy mood. She also woke up screaming from 10:30pm-12am, crushing my hopes that she was now officially sleeping through the night again (after 5 glorious days of 11+ hours straight). Like all pleasant dreams, it was great while it lasted :)

Traveling with Bebe

2011-09-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

Joe booked our tickets to Gloucester, Mass! In a few weeks we'll spend 10 days out there in his parents incredible historical bungalow. Our first real getaway since we became a trio.

You can see their house in this painting on the right, with it's bright red roof. Not bad lodgings, eh?

Even though some people say traveling with an infant is not worth it, we will consider this our trial run. It's our chance to see how resilient Siena can be, and how flexible and Type B we can be. Plus, we'll have lots of helping hands, and won't have to schlep around from hotel to hotel. It's an ideal first trip, I think. I have a super brave pregnant friend (you know who you are :) who is planning a trip to Europe when baby will be 5 months. Now that's ballsy! Although I don't doubt they can pull it off, I do hope their tix are refundable, just in case :)

I'm being super Type A in my attempt to be Type B on the trip. I like to do my research, and I've gathered many (hopefully) helpful tips for flying/traveling with a baby. The ones I'll be trying for sure:

wake baby up 3 hours early the morning of the trip so her bedtime can be easily adjusted to East Coast time. On the way back, offer a short nap at bedtime but keep baby up 3 hours longer to get her back on California time. I think this is genius, but it could definitely backfire. I pretty much trust everything this lady says, though.
nurse upon takeoff and landing to relieve ear pressure (we'll be offering diluted coconut water in a bottle b/c Sisi usually refuses to nurse outside her normal feeding times.)
post it notes and painter's tape make excellent airplane toys
order diapers, baby food, and other essentials on amazon and have them shipped to the destination instead of lugging them in the suitcase.

I'll let you what works and what doesn't!

A Time to Mourn

2011-08-30T23:05:00.000-07:00

For the past few weeks, I've been a bit melancholy. I've been watching films about natural disasters, shipwrecks, and the Holocaust. This is very unusual for a chick flick and comedy lover like me. I've been pondering death and suffering a lot lately, and sometimes my imagination and dreams go to dark places.

Then I realized it's the 1 year anniversary of my Dad's death, of course I'm melancholy. If ever there was a time to mourn, it's now.

Death is always difficult to process, but I think losing someone to suicide is especially traumatic. Because suicide is taboo, it's difficult to talk about. In fact, it almost seemed wrong to write this post. Would people be offended or judge me?

Suicide is so complex, and here's why:

the gruesome/painful nature of self-murder
the stigma surrounding it
suicidal people often have mental problems and their relationships are already messed up
because of this, the survivors may feel a sense of relief when they are gone--> immense guilt
the person who commits suicide is the victim and the perpetrator at the same time
if they leave a note, they have the last word
all the happy memories and accomplishments of that person seem worthless, since you know their life ended on such a tragic note
those who found the body may suffer from post traumatic stress disorder, in addition to the normal feelings of grief

And of course, you can't help but wonder...

did i cause it?
could i have stopped it?
why wasn't my life and our relationship worth living for?
can a person who committed suicide go to Heaven?
what were his/her last thoughts? was i in them?
did he/she even consider the consequences this would have for the survivors?

I don't have the answers to all of these questions, but I do have the answer to the first two: "Did I cause it?" and "Could I have stopped it?" The answer is OF COURSE NOT. I needn't give myself more power than I actually possess. I cannot control people, make them happy, or force them to get help. I can only love them, pray for them, and rest in God's sovereignty. I started to heal when I was able to give those questions an honest "no", and be ok with leaving the rest unanswered. Only God knows.

Sisi is 7 months!

2011-08-29T22:05:00.000-07:00

This post is a week late, btw.

A LOT has changed in the span of 1 month. In the beginning, the milestones are so subtle, like "unclenches fists" or "makes eye contact". Now I feel like each day she does the coolest, most amazing things. It's all just normal baby stuff, but to me she's a genius in the making :)

she's an expert army crawler, and now does baby pushups and bounces on hands and knees.
she can finally sit up!
eats a large variety of chunky foods (she'll squeeze it to a pulp then stick her whole fist in her mouth. looks very satisfied if she gets a tiny morsel in there)
has 2 teeth
eyes are still blue, much to my surprise
sleeps through the night a few times a week. heck, i'll take it!
takes 2 long naps at exactly 9:30 and 1:30.
likes to play interactive games, like peekaboo
laughs at herself in the mirror
can stand by herself if holding onto furniture
says "blah,blah,blah,blah" a lot
starting to show mild stranger anxiety

Music Strike Is Over!

2011-08-25T10:22:00.000-07:00

Sometime in 2007, I went on a music strike. I just didn't want to hear it anymore. I tuned my radio to talk radio, classical, or silence. There was too much going on in my life and head (brother was sick, I was planning my wedding, and starting my flower business.) To add music on top of that literally made my temples hurt. This was highly unusual for me, a singer, dancer and lover of all musical genres, even cheesy 70's bands like The Carpenters.

Also, right around 2007 is when I noticed how obnoxious music can be. 2007 was the year of annoying music. You know, songs that make your ears hurt when they come on (for example, anything by Akon or *Gwen Stefani.) Songs that make you feel like you have to be a defensive listener- always with one finger on the tuner button.

My music hiatus lasted about 4 years. Once in a while I'd find a cd I could listen to on repeat for a little while (Beck, Pinback, Sufjan Stevens- mellow male voices I guess) but overall, I just needed silence.

For everything there is a season. My music strike is over! Since the baby was born, I have a super intense reaction to good songs- they make me cry instantly! When Sisi was first born, Joe would play opera for her in the mornings as I would quietly sob to myself.

I feel like life has slowed down a bit, and it's actually become a little repetitive (pretty unavoidable when caring for a small infant full time.) Dare I say it, sometimes my brain feels a little empty. I can now fully embrace the stimulation of music. I want Sisi to be raised in a home full of music, singing, and dancing. Now I make it a point to turn on oldies for her every single day. She's even starting to bob her head a little to the beat. It's soooo cute!

Here's a little glimpse of life with a 7 month old. We had breakfast for Joe's bday at the Penguin Cafe in Laguna Beach. Of course, Joe had to play Penguin Cafe Orchestra on my droid while filming. :)

Has anyone ever gone through an anti-music phase or am I crazy?

*I actually love Gwen, just not her solo stuff.

More Baby Headbands!

2011-08-21T21:50:00.000-07:00

Sisi's monthly pictures are great motivation to make more baby headbands. No matter how busy I get, I know I'll make at least a few new creations each month just for her.

I know bows and flowers are pretty typical baby adornment. Why not stick other random objects on baby's heads?

Like a nest...

fuzzy yarn nest with pearl eggs

Or peas in a pod...


Cotton covered beads in a felt pod.

I had Sisi wear the bird's nest headband to church today to test the response. Even though to me it's clearly a bird's nest with pearl eggs, I needed to make sure other people don't just see a big brown fur patch. Everyone knew right away that it was a nest, except one of the Pastors, who thought it was actually Sisi's hair tied into a bun on top of her head. Like a samurai? Whoa, craziness!

More 7 month pics to come :)

What is Normal?

2011-08-18T19:40:00.000-07:00

Joe's been going more and more au natural lately. All the organic bath and cleaning products I use aren't good enough anymore- he makes his own concoctions out of coconut oil, peroxide, baking soda, and vinegar. He would go barefoot all day if he could. He fights colds with raw garlic and cayenne pepper instead of nyquil like the rest of us.

I usually find his crunchy habits pretty amusing, and enjoy hearing the science behind them. Some of them I've actually embraced, like drinking raw milk and making our own kefir. But things get a little heated when they involve the baby's health. I happily breastfeed, and make her organic baby food from scratch, but I'm NOT going to put egg whites in her socks (Joe's idea) or spread coconut oil all over her, thank-you-very-much!

The most emotional Sisi debate we've had is over formula. I have plenty of breastmilk to meet her daily needs, but I don't have any extra to leave with babysitters on occasion. Not a drop. Trust me, I pumped 3 times yesterday (evening, middle of the night, and morning) to make a bottle for this weekend, and got maybe 1/6th an ounce. Barely a sip. So frustrating!

So I assumed we could supplement, on rare occasion, with Earth's Best Organic formula. No biggie, right?

Wrong. Joe thinks some of the ingredients are questionable, and wants to make his own baby formula from scratch using this recipe. A recipe that calls for rare ingredients that I know we can't procure and test out before this weekend. After going back and forth about it, Joe agreed it would be ok to give Sisi the Earth's Best formula on rare occasions. So I gave her 1 oz with her solids today, and I actually cried. I felt so guilty and sad, like I'd failed. She is no longer an EBF baby. I know, it's totally silly to feel this way, as millions of babies raised on formula turn out great. Heck, I was a formula baby and I turned out alright (I think!) I don't blame Joe for these feelings, since he is never forceful or stubborn about his opinions. I blame mostly my perfectionism.

I watched Sisi carefully for any negative reactions to the formula, and guess what? She still has 10 fingers and 10 toes. I think we'll be alright :)

Back to the topic at hand. The other day, when Joe was acting especially crunchy, I asked, "Do you do ANYTHING normal anymore?"

And to that he responded, "What is normal?"

Hmm, good question. I guess I know how the typical American eats, how much TV he watches, and how little exercise he gets. Maybe normal isn't always a good thing.

And anyway, I didn't marry Joe because he was normal, I married him because he's passionate, intelligent, and not afraid to look like a weirdo sometimes. Or a lot of the time :)

Presentable

2011-08-10T14:38:00.000-07:00

My high school reunion is at the end of the month. Yes, I'm going. I was part of that "high on school spirit" crowd, and they'd be upset if I didn't go! Like anyone preparing for the big reunion, I took a long look in the mirror and did a little "hmphh". What would my classmates think of me now?

In high school, I was very concerned with my physical appearance, to an unhealthy degree. I didn't have time to sleep, but I did have time to roll my hair in paper towels each night for that perfect spiral curl. I don't think I even owned a pair of flat shoes because I felt so short and stout. No matter how much I dieted, or planned out the perfect outfits, I was still insecure about my looks.

2001, when the cool hair style was 1/3 curled, 1/3 straight, and 1/3 crimped. Gee thanks, Britney!

Oh how I wish I could tell my little high school self to be content! Had I known I was in my "prime", maybe I wouldn't have complained so much about my "fat knees" and my "short legs" and my "wide nose". What I wouldn't give to have that wrinkle-less skin or that METABOLISM back!

It all went downhill after high school, and I blame 3 things: 1) Attending Berkeley, a school where pajamas are perfectly acceptable attire, 2) zero peer pressure from my sweet husband, who thinks I look beautiful no matter what, and 3) I worked through a lot of my perfectionism issues, which is a good thing!

Although I'm so relieved to be free from that obsession, I do want to make sure I look presentable on a daily basis. I had a baby 6 months ago, which means no one can expect me to have it all together. But it also means enough time has gone by that I should look presentable. So I think it's time to set some very attainable ground rules. Here they are in order of importance.

1. Wear actual clothes. Not pajamas or sweat pants. A real outfit. It needn't be fancy- a sundress or a tank and jeans will work. I find that wearing something embarrassing to bed motivates me to get dressed first thing in the morning, since I wouldn't want the mailman to see me in a nightgown or giant tie dyed t-shirt.

2. Wear makeup on days I leave the house. Just some powder foundation, lip gloss and curling my eyelashes would be a big improvement. Some red lipstick if I'm feeling fierce :)

Laura Geller's Balance-n-Brighten baked foundation is amazing for lazy people like me.

3. Basic hygiene. Clean shaven, heels pumiced, toe nail polish unchipped, nails trimmed, smelling good.

4. No more librarian buns. Sisi loves to pull my long hair, so I'm in the habit of putting it in a super dorky bun every single day. I like the simple hairstyles here, especially twisting bangs to the side or doing a loose fishtail braid.

5. Accessorize! Punch up basic outfits with cute earrings (I'm stocking up on studs as baby likes to pull my danglies) or a fun necklace.

Betsey Johnson studs.

6. Wear my corset. I have minor diastasis recti from the pregnancy, made worse by all the bending and baby rocking. Thanks to breastfeeding and being too depressed to eat, I was able to shed the baby weight in a month. But my belly still looks about 4-5 months pregnant. I purchased the squeem corset to help tighten the muscles, and now I just need to wear it! It's annoying to deal with during the day, but at night (when it's most beneficial) I fall asleep and don't even notice it.

Also, please help! What do you wear to a reunion at 12 noon at a sports bar?

Throwing a Baby Shower

2011-08-04T10:00:00.000-07:00

Using my best friend Angel's blog post about how to throw a baby shower, I got to work planning my friend Aime's baby shower. I've never really spearheaded any type of party. I like to decorate- give me some tables and I'll make them beautiful. But coming up with a budget, food, invites, and knowing where to place something like the gift table is daunting. That's why I became a florist and not a planner!

I went with a beachy/surfer theme, since Aime was born and raised in Hawaii. Best part, it's gender-neutral, and she's not finding out the sex until the big day.

Aime's dear mother in law offered her lovely home as our party spot. Thanks Carla for everything!

I was on a budget, and managed to scrape everything together for a few benjamins and some change. What I found myself doing a lot was envisioning something super fancy and fabulous, calculating the cost, FREAKING out, then figuring out how to do it myself for cheaper. Champagne taste, beer budget, fo sho. For example, I picked out gorgeous letterpress invites online, but ultimately turned to etsy to buy a customizable template, and print them out myself.

At first I pictured dozens of beach balls and flower pomanders that look like beach balls hanging from the trees... then I remembered I'm afraid of heights and have no assistants to help me, so I threw them in the pool instead.

For the table decor, I used containers left over from my old florist days- bamboo plates and mismatching recycled glass vases, accented with coral and starfish.

The day before the shower, I went to Mayesh to pick out some tropical flowers. Tropicals are striking in small amounts, and I wouldn't have to worry about them wilting.

As Sisi and I strolled through the mart, a florist had rented out space there to prep a wedding. She was slaving away on hundreds of delicate hydrangea garlands. IN 90 DEGREE WEATHER! I could just feel the stress. One of the hardest parts about being a florist was keeping the flowers alive in the summer. So much is beyond your control, and you're just praying that the thousands of dollars worth of flowers are still alive by the time you arrive on site. In the moment, I did not feel at all jealous. I'm happy just to be a flower dabbler for now.

I facebooked asking for fun, kitschy tablecloth ideas. Thanks Melissa for suggesting beach towels! It added the perfect pop of color and texture to the tables.

Notice the little Hawaiian rubber duckies! Aime had actually registered for these after I purchased them as decor. A happy coincidence!

This was a late morning shower to avoid the blaring California sun, so we served simple brunch fare- quiche and pecan sticky buns from a local bakery, fruit salad, green salad, and yogurt parfait.

Our friend Jen's mother in law created these hilariously cute cake pops as party favors. This woman is truly a supermom- she's a lawyer AND a nurse AND a Martha Stewart Jr.

Although I had my mind set on fancy cupcakes from Sweet and Saucy Shop, I had to go the more modest route. I made these brownie/cupcake combos and decorated them with tropical toppers.

Here's me and the adorable preggo! She's using the same midwives as I did, and I know she'll be an incredibly graceful mama. Cheers to Baby Nagel (who is probably a boy, as predicted by all the Asian ladies at the nail salon.)

*photos by the dad-to-be, Corby.

Half Birthday!

2011-07-22T10:46:00.000-07:00

SIX MONTHS. Really? We made it?

All the been-there-done-that mommies told me 6 months would be a turning point. We'd find our groove then, and this crazy new life would start to seem normal. I can honestly say they were right! Our days now have a fairly predictable rhythm to them.

Here is our baby, looking a little more melancholy than usual because she has the summer flu and a U.T.I., not to mention going through the tumultuous "Wonder Week 26". I look at these pictures and my heart just swells with love and pride, but also a bit of sadness. She's definitely not a newborn anymore. After all, what newborn finds drinking from a big girl cup wayyyy more interesting than a breast? There was a time I thought she would never be unglued from my chest. It makes me a little sad!

The lilypad headband is now listed on etsy! A perfect baby shower gift! Will soon be available in other colors.

She's saying "Yes Sir!" in the middle pic...

The sparkly black headband is also available on etsy! It's made of soft black netting, not itchy tulle, just FYI. I stocked up on those "My Little Legs" leg warmers because Siena is on the verge of crawling, and we've got nothing but cold, hard travertine floors. At 2.00-4.00 a pop, they are a steal! I guess they are a wannabe "Baby Legs" brand, but I have both and can't really tell the difference, besides the price.

PROOF

2011-07-21T16:48:00.000-07:00

PROOF that this blog is still about my etsy shop, and not *just* about Siena (although she takes up about 99% of my time, and therefore 99% of my blog...)

See? I created this new headband as part of the Petal and Thorn Kidlets collection :)

It features a kanzashi lotus flower atop a fuzzy felt lily pad, on a super comfy headband that Sisi didn't even try to pull off.

More cuteness to come!

Our Fourth of July

2011-07-15T21:47:00.000-07:00

*I'm on a posting frenzy! This is very belated, but I finally have pictures of our 4th.*

Good friends, heat wave, hot dogs, homemade mango salsa, tequila rickeys (Joe), coca cola (me), planned nautical outfit coordination (see pics below), all crammed into the short window of 3pm-7pm, between Sisi's second nap and bedtime. Thankfully we were not the only parents to leave the party early to get the kiddos to bed, so I didn't feel like a such a weirdo!

After Siena was sound asleep, we spent the rest of the night calming down stressed out puppies who hate fireworks. We were dogsitting, so in addition to Pesto and Basil, we had a German shepherd and a rat terrier to look after.

I can't believe we're smack dab in the middle of summer! When I sign checks, I tend to think it's April for some reason. I'm in this weird time warp.

Diet Decisions

2011-07-14T14:36:00.000-07:00

Warning: Vegetarians need not read this!

Joe went in on 1/2 a cow with a friend, had it butchered, and brought home some of the spoils yesterday. He took out each meat part, explained what it was and how we could cook it. He even said, "Have you ever seen such beauty?" while holding up some steak. He looked at me with *almost* the same adoration on our wedding day.

I've watched Joe grow in his passion for food over the past few years. He's become much pickier about what goes into his body, so much so that he's pretty much taken over the grocery shopping. He's a true caveman now, eating lots of carefully selected meat, fish, eggs, and vegies. Lots of raw cultured butter, kefir, and coconut oil. The only carbs he really eats are sweet potatoes and squash.

In this alternate universe of his, pork rinds are a healthier choice than plain popcorn, heavy cream is better than skim milk, and greasy bacon is better than chicken breast. Just ask him about the time he ate a whole stick of butter (well, he got through 3/4 of it) to see if it would boost his energy. He is on a strict "paleo diet", and as much as I tisk tisked the whole thing at first, a year later he's got a washboard stomach, rarely gets sick, and has more energy than he knows what to do with. His idea of fun is to get blood tests done and watch the doctor look amazed at how low his triglycerides can be on a mostly bacon diet. When he "cheats" and has something "forbidden", he feels sick the rest of the day.

Now, if Joe is doing the grocery shopping in our household, where do I come in? Where does Siena come in? If Joe is Tarzan, must I be Jane and Sisi a little monkey?

After many an eye roll, I'm starting to head in the paleo direction. I gave up cereal quite a while ago, because it does nothing for me besides spike sugar cravings for the rest of the day. So for breakfast, Joe makes his pile of bacon, eggs, and vegies, and puts a little aside for me. Or I'll have kefir and wild blueberries and a hard boiled egg.

For lunch, I do my own non-paleo thing. This is my chance to eat grains or pasta. For the past week, I've been into Trader Joe's microwaveable bibimbap with heaps of kimche on top. Sooo good, and a little rice is not gonna kill me.

My dinner is always paleo, because I refuse to cook two dinners. And practically speaking, paleo dinners are very easy to cook. I choose a meat from the fridge and start marinading it during Sisi's second nap. I pop a few sweet potatoes or squash in the pressure cooker for 7 minutes. I stir fry a few vegetables with the aforementioned meat, and bam. Dinner in 20 minutes or less! We keep it semi-interesting by rotating meats, spices, and vegies. I also feel really good ending the day with such rich, satisfying meals that leave me full but not bloated the way a pasta dish might. But I still have bread and pastries from time to time, and still have to have a daily dose of sugar. I've never been a fanatical dieter (except that random 1 year stint as a vegan) so I'm okay having one foot in and one foot out. But I wonder if a year from now I'll be full-on paleo. We'll just have to see!

I'm guessing that all the healthy fats I'm consuming must be wonderful for Sisi's breastmilk, because she's got leg rolls galore and a triple chin. And you know what else is made of fat? BABY'S BRAINS. So hopefully her's is growing well, too.

We just started feeding Sisi solid foods. So far she's had avocados, egg yolk, squash, sweet potato, liver, and a little bit of apple sauce (to make the liver taste good). She loves it all, and swallows most of it! We end each meal with a few sips of water from mommy's cup, which makes her beam with pride.We skipped the rice cereal completely after reading some research that babies actually don't produce the enzyme to digest complex carbohydrates until they are about 1 year old. So I guess Siena is on the paleo diet, too! I'm not really doing that on purpose, it just so happens the most nutrient rich easily digestable foods for babies tend to be paleo-approved. I'm using the Nourishing Traditions website as a reference. It's a great resource for those who don't want to take their pediatrician's advice blindly.

And since somehow every post leads to that baby sleep issue (sorry guys for beating a dead cow!), you know that wives tale about getting baby to sleep longer by feeding solids? I really really don't want to jinx it, but she's given me several 10-11 hour stretches the past week. Could be a coincidence though since she's also on a schedule now.

Oh yeah, one more thing, Joe even has the dogs on a paleo diet. They get raw beef scraps (also from our 1/4 cow) exclusively now. Thanks to that cow for feeding our entire family! We're saving a lot of money too.

PESTO AND BASIL'S DINNER.

Babiekins Fashion Mag

2011-07-12T20:39:00.000-07:00

People ask me if I have fun dolling Siena up. Well, typically no. On the average day, you'll find her in a simple cotton onesie or her diaper. When it comes to dressing my baby, I'm fairly practical, no frills. Church days we up the ante a little bit. But I do have my eye on kid's fashion (even though I believe the words "kid" and "fashion" should go together sparingly- they have their wholes lives ahead to worry if their clothes are "in style") and am experimenting with fun baby hair accessories for the etsy site. Babiekins online magazine has been a wealth of inspiration. Like seriously, if I could look 1/10th as chic and stylish as these wee kiddos...

I discovered Babiekins when Jodi Rae, our very own Petal and Thorn model (and good friend), played the hippie mama in this love child photoshoot. Just stunning!

I'm creating a few special hair pieces for Siena's 6th month photos coming up. Stay tuned!

5 Months Old!

2011-06-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

Siena at a Glance:

16 pounds, wearing 9 month clothes
size 3 diapers, about 6 a day.
eyes are still glassy blue, but I can see yellow flecks in the sun. I'll be shocked if her eyes don't eventually change to brown. After all, Korean blood runs thick.
starting to exert her will (for example, throws a fit if we don't let her pull the leaves off of plants or turn the pages in the hymnal.)
still exclusively breastfed.
suddenly stopped spitting up so much. yay!
able to roll from back to belly, and belly to back.
takes 3 decent naps a day- 9ish, 1ish, and 4ish. although by blogging that I probably just jinxed it.
bedtime is around 7 or 7:30pm.
starting to recognize words. I say "doggy friends" and she looks up, expecting to see her doggy mobile.
starting to show mild stranger anxiety, especially around men with beards.
at about 4 months, she stopped sleeping through the night and wakes up at 3am starving. kinda bummed, but I'm enjoying the precious time I get to spend with her in the middle of the night :)
at least for now, she's a bit of a loner- content to play on her belly with a few toys most of the day.
easily overwhelmed in crowds.
nothing makes her laugh more than Pesto and Basil.

My Latest Read: I'm reading this incredibly loooooong book by Australia's "baby whisperer" (Lacey, you'll appreciate that!) called The Dream Baby Guide. It's not your typical sleep book with some quick fix. It's about completely changing the way you communicate with your baby. So, instead of always asking Siena, "Should we change your diaper? Is it time for milk? Do you want mama to pick you up? Is it time for another nap?" I should be leading her through simple statements that fill her in on what's to come, like, "Say bye bye to toys, nearly time to change your diaper and then get ready for night night!" I realized that because I often lack confidence in my mom skills, I always ask Siena to guide me. She's young right now so it's ok, but down the road it could become a problem. In just a few days of changing my tone, gestures and speech, she's eating better and not trying to roll away as much during diaper changes.

When I first started reading, I was so skeptical that babies can even understand all this. But then I realized that these are the same strategies, more or less, used by my dog trainer! He told me Pesto's aggression stemmed from the fact that he thought he was in charge of the household, and that's a huge burden for a dog to carry. Our trainer gave us lots of rules- Pesto shouldn't sleep with us, he should walk through doorways after us, he should always heel and never pull on the leash during walks, always wait to eat his food until we gave him the ok to dig in, and we should never have to ask him to do something twice. I was amazed that in a few weeks, Pesto was a new dog. Far from perfect, but at least not biting and growling! If dogs can respond to these changes, babies certainly can too. I'm only halfway through, but I highly recommend this book! All the sleep information is at the very end of this massive book. She did that on purpose, because her point is that if your baby is clingy, anxious, and impatient during the day, it's unreasonable to expect them to peacefully fall asleep in their dark room all alone. I love her holistic approach to sleep. Ok, baby just woke up, gotta go!

* edit: After re-reading this, I realized it might come off the wrong way. Just want to clarify that we won't be training Siena like a dog or never let her have her own opinion or choice about things. We just want her to trust that we're the parents and she can relax and be the baby!

Tree of Life

2011-06-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

For the past few YEARS, Joe's waited for Tree of Life to come out. I've walked in on him watching the trailer at least 20 times. He's explored every nook and cranny on the movie website. He's read every review. And a few months ago, the excited countdown til the movie release began. He took a long lunch break the other day and watched it, practically the only one in the theater. It did not disappoint. He said it was the most painfully beautiful movie he's ever seen, and that having his own baby made it that much more haunting. He heard it described in one review as "a love letter to the Creator." Goosebumps!

I think it inspired these pictures he took of Sisi this weekend :)

We're hoping to find a babysitter and get out soon to watch it together. Only problem is, Sisi's sleep has taken a turn for the worse lately, and we don't feel as free to leave her at 7pm when she's down for the night. She recently learned to roll over, which of course we're thrilled about, but she just can't stop rolling in her sleep! When she finds herself on her tummy in the middle of the night, she freaks out until I come rock or nurse her to sleep. Trust me, I'm BUMMED that we've had to resort to these methods again, since she was putting herself to sleep just fine much of the time. And when she was down for the night, she was DOWN FOR THE NIGHT. Like 10-12 hours pretty much guaranteed. The first few days of this rolling fiasco, she was waking 4 or 5 times. The past 2 days it's been 1 or 2 times, so I guess she's getting used to sleeping on her tummy. But she's been increasingly crabby before bedtime (probably due to overtiredness), and cried in my arms for an hour last night before daddy took over and sang her to sleep. This morning's nap was rough. She's at the point now where my attempts to soothe her are too stimulating, and I honestly think she's confused about whether she's supposed to surrender to sleep in my arms or not, since every nap and sleep is different. Eventually, I put her in her crib to get her frustration out. She cried/whined for like 3 minutes and fell asleep. She's been asleep for an hour now.

So note to self, never blog about how great a sleeper your little one is becoming, because it's sure to bite you in the booty soon enough :( Didn't want to have to resort to sleep training, but we're praying about it now. I fugure there's a lot of crying going on anyway (both her and me, sadly) we may as well put the tears to good use. I know many people will disagree with me and that's ok.

Hidden Perks of Mommyhood

2011-05-31T20:31:00.000-07:00

1. Dancing and singing to oldies in Trader Joe's is ok as long as there is a baby strapped to you. Looks like I'm just lulling her to sleep when really I'm grooving for me and me only :)

2. No need to feel guilty wasting gas and taking joy rides. If baby is sleeping in the back seat, and you know she'll wake up as soon as you turn the engine off, then it's ok to take a wrong turn and drive through the canyons with the windows open.

3. Motherhood gives you time to think. Especially when your easily distracted baby needs to nurse in complete silence- no phone, no TV, no nothing. Yes, I spend plenty of time with me, myself and I. Wish my brain wasn't so fuzzy these days!

Totally off topic, we finally weaned babygirl off the miracle blanket swaddle. I had this silly sack shipped all the way from New Zealand after reading tons of praises about how it helps with the swaddle transition. The night it arrived, we simply replaced the swaddle with the Peke Moe, and she was able to fall asleep on her own in the crib. She stayed asleep for most of the night, waking up just once in the early morning (she's been doing this lately, even when swaddled. 4 month sleep regression, anyone?) I was so nervous that whole night, thinking she would wake up in a panic. But when we peaked in the nursery, she was sleeping peacefully, stretched out like a starfish enjoying her new freedom. I highly recommend the Peke Moe!

She looks like a baby shark.

Random Recent Reflections

2011-05-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

I have two obsessions: constantly checking and posting in a forum of mommies with babies born in January, 2011, and tracking Siena's naps/nursing to the minute. While both those habits have done me some good, I've decided to take a little break from them.

The forum, while being a wealth of knowledge, is kind of a time-waster, and tends to bring out my insecurities as I compare Siena to what all the other 4 month olds are doing. So what if she hasn't rolled over yet?

The purpose of the obsessive tracking was to help me understand Siena's natural rhythms and get to know her sleep and feeding cues better. And it really has helped me be mindful of giving her enough sleep/feeds. But it was also my foolish attempt to bring order and predictability to our days. Frankly, recording the chaos of our life in minute detail does not make it any less chaotic. So for now, I'd rather stare at my baby than stare at my smart phone.

After trying in the beggining to have NO schedule/routine with Siena, and then trying to fit her into a "perfect" schedule, I've decided to park my behind somewhere in the middle. Consistency whenever possible and a respect for her natural rhythms, but goodness gracious the ability to relax and go with the flow because she deserves a mommy who's not insane :)

The picture above is Siena's first visit to our favorite restaurant in Thai Town, Hollywood. We stopped there for a bite on our way back from a friend's wedding in Santa Barbara. I made the bouquets and bouts- so much fun to handle flowers again! Of course, it took me 1 1/2 days when it used to take me a few hours. I only had Siena's little 45 minute naps to work with. Siena did marvelously on the trip, sleeping much of the time on the way to and fro. I nursed in parking lots. The wedding was in the middle of the wilderness, but she's a sturdy little thing and held up just fine. We left the wedding early because I was nervous about how she might sleep in the hotel. We brought her swaddle, moses basket, and night night doll, and set her up under the desk with a dark blanket draped over it. It looked ridiculous, but she slept 10 hours straight and woke up happy :) Had I tried to stick to our "schedule", that weekend would never have happened.

Modern Glam Wedding Shoot

2011-05-24T16:27:00.000-07:00

I was worried that ending The Treasured Petal meant losing touch with good friends in the industry. Turns out I had nothing to worry about! I love taking part in styled shoots to keep up with what's new in the wedding world and give me an excuse to hang with my industry buds. Thanks Christina from Simply Modern Weddings and Trista from Trista Lerit Photography for reaching out and asking me to provide some funky accessories. The theme: Modern Glam Tron-inspired Wedding. I had to wikipedia "Tron" since I don't watch TV and am living under a rock :) It's a science fiction film from the 80s, with an arcade game and video game that followed.

I hand stitched this tulle and rhinestone hat, and added a black bow with vintage crystal brooch. I actually created it to face forward with the tulle veil along the eyeline, but thought it was fabulous how Carina from Flawless Faces flipped it and used it as a fascinator to accent the side-swept 'do. Cocktail hats are so versatile, so whatever works with the look! Real brides can easily steal this idea- face the hat forward with the veil in front for the ceremony, and flip it for the reception.

Carina also incorporated my tiara headbands into the bridesmaids' updos. On the left she is wearing the Milky Way Tiara (made of milk glass beads- soon to be listed on etsy!) and the right the Mercury Glass Tiara.

And I have NOTHING to do with the decor for this shoot, but I have to give you a glimpse at this insanely cool ceremony setup. Inviting Occasion, way to rock it! I thought making hats was intricate work, but goodness, a huge grid made of straws? Too awesome.

A big THANK YOU to Green Wedding Shoes for featuring this shoot here! Check it out for all the gorgeous details and full vendor list.

FOUR MONTHS!!!

2011-05-20T13:04:00.000-07:00

Ok, if this is one of SiSi's famous 45 minute naps, she's due to wake up in approximately 5 minutes, so I'll make this quick.

This morning Joe took these pics of her at exactly 4 months. We are officially out of the newborn stage, and I'm always waking up thinking, "What new things can Siena do today?" She really is growing up fast. I really can't resist her!

In your opinion, is she starting to look more like the hybrid image we made before she was born?

I actually think our hypothetical baby looks way more asian than Siena does.

Wow, I just realized that Siena is still asleep. SCORE! Catnaps are so annoying, especially when you have this elaborate ritual for each one.

Have a lovely weekend!!!

Missing Dad

2011-05-15T16:45:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, May 16th, is my dad's birthday. I remember exactly how we spent it last year. We all met at Lucille's BBQ and ate way too many biscuits with apple butter. I gave him an iron gym and a workout outfit to encourage him to keep up his physique :) I was barely pregnant. In fact, I don't think I even knew I was pregnant at that point. It seems like just yesterday, really.

And now he's gone. He died unexpectedly last August. When I found out, my whole body went numb, I couldn't breathe, and I collapsed to the floor outside a sushi restaurant. I feared I would never ever be the same again. I guess I'm not. I've definitely grown from it, and learned how important it is to be there for people in their grief. I read and reread every sympathy card that was sent to me numerous times, just clinging to words to help me survive. You better bet I send sympathy cards now! I never used to before. I think I'm more compassionate. I'm less surprised when tragedy strikes, and quicker to fall on my knees and pray.

But on a day to day basis, I do feel like myself. Life did go on, and I've made it out of the heavy grief stage. But the grief does come back from time to time. Last night I cried, wishing my dad could hold my beautiful baby girl who definitely has his nose and his smile. At his graveside service, we sang the hymn "Rock of Ages Cleft for Me", half the crowd singing it in Korean and half in English- it was sooo hauntingly beautiful. When I hear that song, I inevitably break down. I imagine this will happen for the rest of my life.
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Missing you Dad, and wishing so badly that you could cuddle with your grand daughter on your birthday.

The Wonder Weeks- storm clouds and sunshine

2011-05-05T14:28:00.000-07:00

Attention! New moms who feel insecure because their babies are happy and independent one day, and fussy and restless the next, please go buy The Wonder Weeks right now. It will save you a lot of, "What happened to my cherub?" and "Am I doing something wrong?" and "Is this just a phase?"

A "wonder week" is a period of developmental growth in an infant, where they're learning an awesome new physical or mental skill. Right before they've mastered this skill, they undergo growing pains in their brains as they struggle to figure it out. That week can be hellish for babies and parents. Many babies become easily frustrated, unable to settle down for sleep, too distracted to nurse (or wanting to comfort suck all day long), etc. The book calls it the 3 c's- clingy, crying, cranky.

Sisi and Grandpa, at 3 days

Just last week, my little burst of sunshine was putting herself to sleep in her crib with a smile and a few coos, napping for 2 or 3 hours at a time, entertaining herself all day long, and in general making this motherhood thing wayyyyyy too easy. In fact, our running joke was to look at her and say, "Oh, I forgot you existed!" And I'll admit it, I got a little cocky. I thought I had her all figured out.

Hip hip hooray, like clockwork, at exactly14 1/2 weeks, my little textbook baby started acting funny. She started hating to nurse and she acts like I'm torturing her (the last time this happened was wonder week 12.) She's been moody and hyperactive. Today it got worse. She screamed when I tried to put her into her crib to fall asleep on her own. I had to rock her for every nap, which I thought was history. I feel like she's regressing, and it gets me down and makes me insecure about my mothering.

Then I take a deep breath and reread the chapter of Wonder Weeks about "wonder week 19", which actually begins around 14 or 15 weeks, and lasts through week 19. It's an intense but exciting period, where she'll learn to roll over, respond to her name, pass toys between both hands, even recognize words. She'll really be a skilled little person. In fact, she's already begun turning book pages, sticking toys in her mouth, and is trying with all her might to roll over and crawl, getting nowhere by the way. It's quite adorable.

I know once her little mind and body mastered these skills, she'll be my little cherub again. It takes a little faith, but I know this will pass. She'll be occupying herself with her new abilities, and we'll be able to say, "Oh, I forgot you existed!" again. Just kidding!

With babies, it really is all about phases. Luckily, the phases aren't as random as they seem. There's a reason for all the madness. You can't cure your little one of these phases, just help them get through these storms as smoothly and quickly as possible. And I do believe Siena needs extra loving and cuddles and patience and grace as she struggles within herself. She's just a baby, and the world is so overwhelming, especially with mommy and daddy doing obnoxious kitschy-coo in your face all day and blowing raspberries on your tummy. Come to think of it, Siena is pretty darn patient with us :)

Back to Work!

2011-05-02T15:28:00.000-07:00

My maternity leave is officially over. This morning, I just felt ready to reopen Petal and Thorn. I feel like I'm now coming out of Babyland and reentering the world. I realize I need to take advantage of her newfound napping habit by doing something productive. (As of now, I've been watching Scrubs all day and obsessively putting my ear to her door in between episodes to make sure she's still sleeping because it's just so hard to believe :) So I relisted some items in the etsy shop and am drawing sketches for brand new creations. For some reason, baby accessories are on my mind... Maybe because I have the perfect model :)

3 MONTHS ALREADY???

2011-04-20T23:06:00.000-07:00

I love her smirk.

She's been very pensive lately.

Finally starting to appreciate her toys more.

She looks so Irish in this pic!

There were times in the beginning when I truly wondered if we'd survive to this point, and now look at us:
She's happy, I'm happy.
She's packing on the pounds, and I'm losing them thanks to breastfeeding :).
She's learning about the world, and I'm learning about myself.
She's trusting in me to nurture her, and I'm trusting the Lord to sustain me.

It's all good here in the House of Branca. Happy 3 months my dear! I love you sooooo much!