Sisi's Birthday Un-party

I told myself I wouldn't throw a party this year.  So I found a loophole and threw a family "dinner" instead.  The dinner ended up being very much like a party, except smaller crowd, less pressure, and no presents (well, I asked people not to bring presents but some just couldn't contain themselves!)
I'm so pleased with how the evening turned out.  It was low-stress and low-budget and high-fun.

We chose an ocean theme based on our trip to the aquarium last week...

I originally told myself no decorations, but decided that as long as they were dirt cheap, I could do it. The only supplies I needed to buy were curling ribbon, clear balloons, and paper bowls.  The rest I had at home.

Our new sunroom has been wonderful for entertaining.  It opens up the entire space so much.

Our new covered patio also gives us lots more dining space.

Cute little jellyfish garland!

Clear balloon "bubbles" and paper bowl jellyfish hung from fishing line.  I suggest buying paper bowls that are pure white on top and bottom and painting both sides.  I was bummed that they didn't look cute from the bottom, which is the angle that people saw them from most.  Oh well ;)  I also made paper anenomes/sea urchins.  Basically just made polish star ornaments with less layers.  These are a lot of work, but so geometric and cool looking.

We had blue gak and kinetic sand for the kiddos.  Adults love this stuff, too :)

Paper bag jellyfish craft.  Another practically free activity!  Also, random toys on the lawn for kids of all ages.

We hid glow sticks all over the house, turned off the lights, and sent the kids off on a glow stick hunt!

Always a crowd pleaser!  Berries and chocolate fondue.  I make the chocolate a little healthier by using dark chocolate bars melted with coconut milk and a touch of honey.  The result is a super creamy, not too sweet puddle of chocolate goodness.

No fancy designer cake, just paleo cupcakes with frosting that I squeezed out of a ziplock bag.  I need a real pastry bag, for sure.  That frosting looks too much like dog poop.  Sure was tasty though!

Such a fun evening!  A few lessons I've learned (via trial and error) about throwing low-stress kids parties (er, I mean "dinner gatherings".)

• HAVE IT CATERED.  I prepared a few simple appetizers (bacon wrapped dates, chips and guac, cheese and salami plate) but had our favorite local Greek restaurant cater.  It was delicious, and I was able to feed each person a hearty meal for under 10.00.  I couldn't have cooked cheaper!  Really, catering doesn't have to be that expensive.  Or, don't even serve a meal.  Choose a time when guests won't be expecting a meal, and serve snacks and drinks instead.  
• DON'T GO NUTS ON DECOR.  I didn't even buy flowers for this party, and I'm a former florist.  It felt blasphemous, but really, no one noticed or cared.  Instead, I snipped succulents from our garden.
• DON'T HAVE TOO MANY DESSERTS. There was a time when one funfetti cake got the job done.  Nowadays we serve huge dessert buffets. They look gorgeous, but I learned the hard way with Sisi's 1st bday party that people often don't eat a lot of dessert at parties.  This was evidenced by the fact that we had  no "real food" leftovers, but 6 huge bundt cakes leftover that my mom had to give away to coworkers.  This time, I made a few dozen cupcakes and fondue and that was it.  It was more than enough to satisfy the sweet lovers.  
• DO YOUR HAIR AND MAKEUP FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.  If you rush around prepping for the party all day, chances are you'll have no time to freshen up before guests arrive. Everything else will seem more important than primping, and that's just not true :)  
• MAKE ICE AHEAD OF TIME.  The day before the party I made several batches of ice and saved them in zip lock baggies.  
• CLEAN THE HOUSE, BUT NOT OBSESSIVELY.  I didn't mop the floor or wash the windows beforehand because I knew people would mess it up pretty much immediately.  Instead, I deep cleaned afterward.  BUT I did thoroughly clean the bathroom and made sure to have a neat and tidy sink area.  
• ASK FOR NO GIFTS.  Or not, this is a totally personal matter.  I just preferred people come empty handed because we're minimalists and Sisi already has more toys than she knows what to do with.  But many of our sweet guests could not resist themselves, and she got a handful of really cool gifts anyway.  
• TELL YOURSELF IT'S NOT A PARTY.  Call it a "play date" a "dinner" or "get-together".  This was a good mind-trick for me.  It took off so much of the pressure.  I didn't feel the need to make it magazine-worthy or spend lots of money at all.  It was just a special get-together for family and a few friends to spend time with my favorite 3 year old.  
• PUT OUT A FEW BIG TRASH BARRELS.  That will encourage guests to help clean up a little :)
• ORGANIZED GAMES AND ACTIVITIES ARE A BONUS, BUT NOT NECESSARY.  We did have a simple craft and a glow stick hunt, but other than that, the kids ran around the house and made their own fun.  It made my job a lot easier!      
• KEEP IT SMALL!  I really wanted to invite all my friends and their spouses and their kids and their pets, but my house is tiny and that would have been chaos.  Instead, I kept it to family and a few church friends.   

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No Birthday Party This Year?

Last year, in lieu of a birthday party, Sisi helped me make paleo cake with chocolate frosting. We gave Sisi a party hat, sang happy birthday, and that was it.  She totally loved it!

Contrast that with her 1 year party. I swore I'd keep it simple. Relative to many of my friends' kids' parties, it WAS simple.  Just light lunch, desserts, doggy themed decor and some baby toys and blankets thrown on the lawn.  But somehow I still ended up spending a lot of money, and hours and hours of time crafting all the little details.  Simple is very hard for me, especially when decorating and crafting is my passion.

onesie wall art

I'm extremely torn about what to do for Sisi's third birthday.  Part of me wants to throw her a small and simple no-fuss party. Part of me wants to scrap the party, and just take Sisi to the aquarium and have family meet us for dinner at a restaurant.

I need to ask myself the following questions:
1.  Am I capable of throwing a small and simple party?? 
2.  Which option is cheaper?
3.  And most importantly, which option will Sisi like better?  

Off the top of my head, my answers are "No, I'm not capable of keeping it no-fuss," "The aquarium will obviously be cheaper," and "Sisi would rather be surrounded by fish than at a party."  All signs point to the Aquarium.

Except there is something inside me that wants to throw her a party anyway.  Perhaps I want to show my love by putting time and creativity into her special day.  Perhaps I feel guilty always attending amazing parties but never throwing them.  Perhaps I just want an excuse to bust out my Silhouette die-cutter machine.  But even with harsh self-imposed rules (like no goodie bags, no more than 10 kids, no centerpieces, no massive dessert table) I still can't help but want a face-painter, buttload of balloons, clever games, pretty linens, and specialty cake.  All those things cost money and effort. Have you ever blown up 100 balloons and tried to hang them from the ceiling?  I have.  Never again.  

While I totally love and appreciate the extravagant parties Sisi attends regularly, I've come to realize they are just not for me.  First, I'm a minimalist now. I can't stomach the idea of a bunch of wasted food and decorations that will end up in the trash.  Plus, presents are so fun, but we are really trying to keep our house clutter-free.

Also, being paleo makes parties even harder.  Lots of parents can simplify their parties by doing pizzas, cake and punch. But there are really not a lot of cheap paleo options. If I'm going to throw a party, I want to feed people nutritiously.  I can only think of a few restaurants that would really fit the bill, and they aren't necessarily cheap.  Oh, and me cooking for everyone?  Not even an option.

So, I don't think I'll be throwing a party for Sisi this year. Even though this fact causes me a bit of guilt and grief,  I'm pretty sure Sisi won't care.  Joe even said we could use some of the money we would have put into a party, and go on a special little getaway instead.  Maybe a night in San Diego or Santa Barbara for the three of us?  Sounds amazing to me.

All this got me thinking back to childhood- I never chose parties for myself as a kid.  Being the introvert that I am, I always asked to take my two best friends somewhere special for the day, like Disneyland.  Then we'd go home, have a Baskin Robbin's ice cream cake, and call it a splendid day. Sisi is so much like me, I have a feeling that's what she'd pick, too.  Nothing wrong with that!  

How do you guys feel about kids' birthday parties?  Do you enjoy throwing them?  Any tips for keeping them simple and stress-free?

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