Do This Everyday

Real talk here... I'm exceedingly happy in my role as a mom, but in recent days I've been having these brief (thankfully passing) moments of dread that interrupt my contentment.  Maybe not even dread, but a heaviness. Like a super duper mild version of the postpartum depression I suffered with Sisi. It's hard to put my finger on what or why.  I think it has to do with the monotony of everyday life as a mom of two.  My kids do so well with schedules and routines.  Every day follows a somewhat predictable rhythm where I'm staying one step ahead of their hunger, fatigue, boredom and overstimulation.  With Matteo, this routine is totally cyclical and happens 3 or 4 times a day- Wake up, nurse, diaper, play, nap.  Wake up, nurse, diaper, play, nap.  Over and over and over. Then I try to weave in Sisi's schedule as seamlessly as possible, and I find I'm always multitasking (which isn't really a strength of mine.)

babywearing at dinner is the norm.  that means lots of food gets dropped on matteo's fuzzy little head.

Don't get me wrong, this rhythm is good and keeps us all sane.  I'd rather have repetitive days than crazy chaotic days.  But I find that I myself don't have a routine for my own needs.  My meals, my showers,my playtime, my naps are never regular and sometimes just don't happen. I've managed so far to be very zen about this- to breathe and tell myself that it's ok for my own life to be a little jumbled up right now if it means giving my kids a calm and balanced life.  It's a worthwhile sacrifice. 

But those moments of dread still creep up a few times a day, and I don't like them.   I've decided to listen to that tight-chested feeling.  I think it's telling me I need to make time for my own little routines.  Comfort rituals.  If I can make the time to do these few things every day, I will feel a little more cared for.

Morning rituals:

1.  Brush teeth, use rose water toner (my fave! this stuff makes my face come alive, seriously.  also, my pores are so small now) first thing in the morning.  BEFORE I let the kids out of their rooms to start their morning rituals.  As an HSP, the feeling of fuzzy teeth and an unwashed face REALLY bothers me.  If I can take care of that first thing before I tend to my kids, I will feel one step ahead of the day.

2.  Get dressed and do makeup.  I've been pretty good about getting dressed thanks to my minimal wardrobe.  I love everything in my closet and it's all comfortable, so it's not hard to pick something out for the day.  My full makeup routine only takes 5 minutes because I prefer a really natural look, and I have a bare bones version (lip stain, powder, blush and curl lashes) that is good enough for days when I don't even have 5 mins to spare.

3.  Make the bed (even if I know Sisi will mess it up later.)

4.  Stroll in the garden in the morning.  Sunshine is important for health and wellness, but morning sunshine between the hours of 8-11 is particularly beneficial.  I don't know why, ask my husband.  Anyway, morning sun just feels amazing on my skin and I love checking out the garden to see what flowers are blooming and which vegetables have popped up overnight.

Evening rituals:

Ok, the moment I've been waiting for.  The kids are both tucked in, at least for a little while.  The house is quiet, lights are dimmed.  How should I spend this glorious hour or two before I fall into bed unconscious?  The answer is not online shopping on amazon (so very tempting!)

5.  Do a bit of yoga.  Even if it's just a couple rounds of sun salutations.  I sometimes feel like a hunchback with all the baby cradling, nursing, and bending down talking to tiny people I do each day.  Yoga is the remedy.

6.  Cup of tea.  My favorite way to get hydrated before bed for those middle of the night feedings :) Right now I'm digging Tazo Spicy Organic Ginger.

7. Acknowledge the dogs' existence.  I do feel bad that the dogs are my last priority right now.  I don't have much energy left for them.  But the least I can do is cuddle them and pet them for five minutes (and then immediately wash my hands because I've become very allergic to them since having kids).

8.  Read.  Preferably fiction.  Feels so indulgent.  My attention span for reading has grown so much since I stopped watching TV/movies.  I go through a book a week at least.

9. Most importantly, kiss the hubby goodnight.  Sometimes I'm so tired that I can't even make the effort to walk up to my husband and kiss him goodnight.  That is soooo very sad.  No more of that!

Curious- what are your must-do rituals every day?  I love to hear about how women incorporate the simple pleasures of life into their hectic days.  We are definitely worth it.  

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A Paleo Halloween?

A Paleo Halloween requires a little creativity and advanced planning, but it is indeed possible to enjoy the festivities without eating a year's worth of high fructose corn syrup in one night.  This year Sisi wants to be a dinosaur and trick-or-treat with her gal pals down the street.  I'm already busy making her semi-homemade costume.  It's lime green with yellow spikes and she's going to look ridiculously cute in it.

In past years, Sisi wasn't all that aware of candy and it was easy to take away the bad stuff and give her some frozen bananas or homemade cookies instead.  This year, she knows what candy is, and she is begging me to let her try a lollipop for the first time. Here are some ideas to make Halloween more paleo-friendly:

1.  Do a Halloween basket:  Let the kids trick-or-treat all they want, but at the end of the night, have a special Halloween gift basket ready and make them hand over the crap in exchange.  Some things I will be putting in Sisi's Halloween gift basket this year:

• stickers 
• micro machines or dinosaur toys 
• dinosaur book
• homemade cookies
• stuffed animal 
• homemade turtle candies (using super dark chocolate, homemade coconut sugar caramel, and raw nuts.) 
• Trader Joe's honey peppermint patties (these are very sweet so I will be regulating her intake, but they are as healthy as store bought candies get as they are made with only dark chocolate, honey and peppermint oil.) 
• organic lollipop (trying to find one without sugar but it's challenging!)
• organic fruit snacks/fruit leathers/raisins
• 85% dark chocolate bar 

As long as it's personalized and wrapped up all pretty, I can't imagine any kid being too bummed about trading in the crap candy for the Halloween basket!  It's still got sugar and fructose, but whatever.  At least it's not pop rocks and pixie sticks.  

2.  Do a Halloween Store: Instead of putting the items above in a gift basket, you could easily set up a Halloween store with price tags that say "1 candy" "2 candies" etc, and have the kids use their trick-or-treat candy as barter.  

3.  Take it to the dentist: I've heard of dentists buying Halloween candy by the pound and giving money in exchange.  Pretty cool deal.  Do you think the dentists and assistants chow down on it after hours?  Probably :)

4.  Halloween Fairy:  My chiropractor thought of this one.  She has her kids leave their candy sacks by the front door, and when they wake up in the morning, the Halloween fairy has magically taken them away and left something awesome, like legos or cowboy boots.  This is great for parents who want to avoid all sweets, even "paleo friendlier" ones.   

5.  What to hand out?  Not only do I want to limit Sisi's candy intake, but I can't in good conscience give out crap candy to the neighbor kids. Not everyone feels this strongly, but I just can't pass out fun sized diabetes and cavities.  I just can't.  So Joe thought of a genius idea- let's pass out quarters!  What little kid doesn't love money?  We don't get a lot of trick-or-treaters, so it won't break the bank or anything.  We're also going to pass out mini water bottles for the parents and glow stick necklaces for the really little kids who will just swallow quarters.  Other ideas of things to pass out are the mini Lara Bars, trail mix, fruit snacks, bouncy balls, stickers, balloons, etc.  

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No Birthday Party This Year?

Last year, in lieu of a birthday party, Sisi helped me make paleo cake with chocolate frosting. We gave Sisi a party hat, sang happy birthday, and that was it.  She totally loved it!

Contrast that with her 1 year party. I swore I'd keep it simple. Relative to many of my friends' kids' parties, it WAS simple.  Just light lunch, desserts, doggy themed decor and some baby toys and blankets thrown on the lawn.  But somehow I still ended up spending a lot of money, and hours and hours of time crafting all the little details.  Simple is very hard for me, especially when decorating and crafting is my passion.

onesie wall art

I'm extremely torn about what to do for Sisi's third birthday.  Part of me wants to throw her a small and simple no-fuss party. Part of me wants to scrap the party, and just take Sisi to the aquarium and have family meet us for dinner at a restaurant.

I need to ask myself the following questions:
1.  Am I capable of throwing a small and simple party?? 
2.  Which option is cheaper?
3.  And most importantly, which option will Sisi like better?  

Off the top of my head, my answers are "No, I'm not capable of keeping it no-fuss," "The aquarium will obviously be cheaper," and "Sisi would rather be surrounded by fish than at a party."  All signs point to the Aquarium.

Except there is something inside me that wants to throw her a party anyway.  Perhaps I want to show my love by putting time and creativity into her special day.  Perhaps I feel guilty always attending amazing parties but never throwing them.  Perhaps I just want an excuse to bust out my Silhouette die-cutter machine.  But even with harsh self-imposed rules (like no goodie bags, no more than 10 kids, no centerpieces, no massive dessert table) I still can't help but want a face-painter, buttload of balloons, clever games, pretty linens, and specialty cake.  All those things cost money and effort. Have you ever blown up 100 balloons and tried to hang them from the ceiling?  I have.  Never again.  

While I totally love and appreciate the extravagant parties Sisi attends regularly, I've come to realize they are just not for me.  First, I'm a minimalist now. I can't stomach the idea of a bunch of wasted food and decorations that will end up in the trash.  Plus, presents are so fun, but we are really trying to keep our house clutter-free.

Also, being paleo makes parties even harder.  Lots of parents can simplify their parties by doing pizzas, cake and punch. But there are really not a lot of cheap paleo options. If I'm going to throw a party, I want to feed people nutritiously.  I can only think of a few restaurants that would really fit the bill, and they aren't necessarily cheap.  Oh, and me cooking for everyone?  Not even an option.

So, I don't think I'll be throwing a party for Sisi this year. Even though this fact causes me a bit of guilt and grief,  I'm pretty sure Sisi won't care.  Joe even said we could use some of the money we would have put into a party, and go on a special little getaway instead.  Maybe a night in San Diego or Santa Barbara for the three of us?  Sounds amazing to me.

All this got me thinking back to childhood- I never chose parties for myself as a kid.  Being the introvert that I am, I always asked to take my two best friends somewhere special for the day, like Disneyland.  Then we'd go home, have a Baskin Robbin's ice cream cake, and call it a splendid day. Sisi is so much like me, I have a feeling that's what she'd pick, too.  Nothing wrong with that!  

How do you guys feel about kids' birthday parties?  Do you enjoy throwing them?  Any tips for keeping them simple and stress-free?

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Our New Water-wise Garden!

I've been waiting 4 1/2 years to replace our crummy, crappy, wasteland of a yard.  Not typically one to hire outside help, I've made a few half-hearted attempts to spruce it up in the past.  Every few years, I'd spend a few hundred dollars to plant a couple trees or plants or even a veggie garden, but since I had no real vision or horticultural experience, my meager attempts looked downright silly. And then I'd forget to water,  and then they shriveled up and died an aphid infested death.  Not super encouraging.

This was the magical year we decided to hire an actual landscape designer and invest in a nice garden.  Someplace serene and inspiring, where our toddler can walk around barefoot on grass that isn't dead.  Then maybe she wouldn't end up crying and screaming, "Ouchy grass!!!"  

In my dreams, I've always pictured a "Secret Garden" type of retreat, with tons of hydrangea, bright flowers in window boxes, rambling roses and picket fences.  As you will see, that's pretty much the opposite of what we actually did. So Cal is semi-desert, and water is a luxury (or so it should be), so we can't have a lush garden that needs water all the dang time.  I also wanted something easy to maintain and hard to kill, because I stink at gardening (I'm really good with flowers in vases though!)  So my picturesque secret garden will have to wait until we trade in our generic stucco track home for a quaint Oregon cottage after we retire.  Someday... sigh... 

 I put together a pinterest board of garden inspiration which I showed to our wonderful designer, Yvonne. With her encouragement, we decided to embrace the natural climate of California, and chose water-wise native plants.   Native California plants are not necessarily the lush, romantic flora of my dreams, but they are definitely beautiful in their own funky and understated way. I'm so enjoying watching our succulents, grasses, and native wildflowers bloom and grow day by day.  I'm so thrilled with our decision to hire a designer.  It's like hiring a wedding planner- you can probably get by without one, but you won't regret it if you do.  In fact, you will probably enjoy your wedding more, hire better vendors, and maybe even end up getting better deals if you hire a planner.  I'm pro-wedding-planner, can you tell?  

BEFORE PICTURES:  

Our blah front yard... doesn't our brown, weedy lawn just scream "Welcome!"

 Walk through the gate, and you've entered our lackluster courtyard (which actually looks better in this picture than it did in reality)...

Here is the random space between our house and garage. We did nothing with this space besides put Sisi's poopy diapers in it.

Speaking of poopy, this was our backyard... weedy "ouchy" grass, fruit trees that rarely bore fruit, and a planter filled with aphids.  Yum! (These pictures are actually quite flattering, must have been taken during the rainy season.)

AFTER THE MAKEOVER!!!

Front yard!  No more lawn, just a variety of water-wise plants, including bamboo, jasmine, papyrus, flax, grasses, and succulents.  The plants are not mature yet, so I assume it will look a lot more filled out in a few months.

Walk through the garden gate, and enter our courtyard... 

 Courtyard.  How cool is that modern bench?  Custom built for us by our incredible carpenter, Mark. Any O.C. or L.A. peeps thinking about buying wooden furniture, arbors or fences from big generic stores should consider hiring Mark!  He'll do it better, maybe even cheaper, and you'll feel good about buying handmade.

The spider-infested ivy in the window box was replaced by lime green heuchera.

I'm obsessed with the passion flower vines growing all over our walls.

They produce these purple blooms! Soon they'll be covered with them.

We replaced our diseased roses with papyrus.

  The random space between our house and garage is now an outdoor sitting room.  Thanks to clever wood screens, wooden outdoor wall art, and a vertical garden, it's a cozy area to relax.  All we need is a sofa and outdoor rug to complete the look.

I told you I suck at gardening.  The fuchsias were really pretty before I literally watered them to death.

The side of our house is flanked by a beautiful gated arbor, handmade by our carpenter. Perfect for keeping the dogs in the backyard.

AND THE BACKYARD...

We've got soft "non-ouchy" grass and easy plants like penstemon, senecio, flax, kangeroo paw, and salvia chiapensis.  Also, our carpenter built us this 8 foot picnic table in one afternoon.  I've always had a thing for picnic tables!



I should mention that we recently built a sunroom on top of half our patio, which now serves as our dining room and frees up space in our tiny kitchen.



How amazing is our table, modeled after the Big Sur table from Crate and Barrel, but handmade by a local carpenter on Craigslist for half the price!  Seriously, handmade is the way to go.

We've got a banana tree and Johnson's blue geraniums...

We've got a new planter bed that will one day be filled with veggies and herbs.

And last but not least, an adult jungle gym for my monkey-of-a-husband.   Still in progress.

So, I did experience a bit of sticker shock when I realized how much the garden and sunroom would cost.  Basically, the price of a super nice SUV.  Gulp, that's expensive.  But here's how we justified it.  We like our house and our down-to-earth neighborhood, but the house is pretty tiny.  We would rather add a sunroom in order to free up some space in the kitchen (where we spend most of the day) than pick up and move to a bigger house, which always comes with hidden costs.  We also feel that a beautiful landscape will be enjoyed by every member of our family for years to come.  We've already had picnics, a bbq, and daily wrestling in the grass.  That is worth way more to us than a nice SUV. Plus it all adds value to our home, and blah blah blah.  

Hope you enjoyed  my little garden tour!

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5 Cute Things

I stopped doing regular monthly posts for Sisi when she turned 2 years old, but here is a little update on how our little one is growing!

1. After weaning her off bottles around age 2, she started requesting "kids tea" before bed.  We make her some chamomile or mint tea with a splash of coconut milk. She sips and savors it while we read stories before bed.

2.  After every bath, she curls up into a ball in her towel and requests a back massage.  I sometimes find her giving her ducky blanket a back massage, or the dogs.  I'm sure the dogs love it (not.)

3.  She will be a flower girl next month!  Here's a sneak peek :)  Pretty princess, holding a toy car of course!

4.  She calls Carl's Jr. "happy faces star restaurant".

5.  Last week, as Joe left the house to help butcher this year's cow, she yelled, "Bye daddy!  Have fun with the cow!  Daddy's getting the cow!"  I think she imagines he'll be bringing back a pet cow someday, and not a freezer full of meat.

Two year olds are fun!  She's become quite bossy, but that's as close as we've gotten to the "terrible two's" (so far.)  I'll continue to do updates from time to time!  

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Costa Rica 2013

We stayed 10 glorious days in Punta Uva, a tiny town on the Caribbean side of the country.  Our home away from home was a cozy bungalow at Korrigan Lodge which was tucked into the jungle, a short walk away from one of the loveliest beaches I've ever been to.  It felt like we were"glamping" (glam camping)- the perfect mix of being out of your comfort zone, but also being verrrry comfortable.  We were not "roughing it" by any means, as the bungalow was quite luxurious, but we did feel one with nature as we biked the rocky roads from beach to beach, fell asleep to jungle noises, and awoke to the howls of monkeys.

Some of the highlights of our trip: 

• The vine-drenched Tarzan-esque trees (which Joe insisted on climbing despite the hotel owner's warnings about bullet ants and poisonous snakes)
• White sand and black sand beaches with warm (but not too warm) water
• The cool mix of Costa Rican and Jamaican culture in this region
• Fresh coconut juice right out of the shell
• Frequent sightings of howler monkeys and spider monkeys, sloths, toucans, and incredible butterflies.
• Mellow surfable waves (great for beginners like me) but also some pretty gnarly waves for advanced surfers.  
• Good coffee (although we found out that most of the best Costa Rican coffee gets exported elsewhere)
• Barefoot muddy hikes
• Friendly locals who pinched Sisi's cheeks and  made us feel like we have the world's most adorable toddler (but don't we though?)
• We lucked out with great weather, humid but not too hot, just some sprinkles of rain here and there.
• No cell phones, no laptop (my broke on the airplane), no TV.  Just books and conversation.  I actually read 4 books on this trip, thanks to Sisi's nice long naps.  

Some of the bummers:

• Mosquitoes galore!  I counted 21 bites on Sisi's legs alone.
• The food did not impress me.  But I'm paleo, and Costa Rica seems to be a pretty carb-happy nation, so perhaps it just wasn't going to work out. It was a struggle to eat paleo meals in Costa Rica, but we were in a fairly remote area.  I've heard the Pacific side has totally different food. 
• The food was also pricey (even compared to the US).  We were so spoiled in Thailand with amazing 1.00 meals.  Luckily, lodging and airfare was very reasonable in Costa Rica, so it all evened out. 
• Toddler tantrums.  Sisi was such a trooper most of the time, but tantrums still happen in paradise (they are just more embarrassing).

 

And I'm cheating with this last picture- it was actually taken in California the day after we got back.  I was a little sad to leave Costa Rica, but I can't deny that where I live is a little bit like Paradise, too.  I mean bikinis in January?  Come on!

I've definitely been bit by the travel bug.  As soon as we got home, I started researching our next trip to Brazil.  Then I realized we are hoping to have another kiddo sometime in the near future, so when on Earth will I be able to squeeze a surf trip in?  Sigh.  I guess we'll have to wait a few years.  

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