Matteo is 8 Months!

Teo, me say Teeeooo.  Daylight come and me wan go home.

My smirky, babbly, serious yet fun-loving dude. Time is going too fast. He is now way closer to 1 than to zero. I love watching him grow up, but I'm also sad to lose my baby.  I know, he'll be technically a baby for at least another year, but that year will whiz by and I'll have no more babies (unless God really surprises us.)  His two tiny teeth will become a mouth full of chompers. His caterpillar fuzz will flatten out.  I know it just gets better and better, but growing up is bittersweet. Makes me treasure each drooly kiss, each gummy chuckle, each raspberry.

Matteo at a glance:

• His head is ridiculously fuzzy.  Everyone admires his spiky coif!  I love to bury my nose in it.  
• First cousin playdate with several of his out of town "first-cousins-once-removed", Eudora, Ronan, and baby Miles, just 2 weeks younger than him. Such a special time!
• Loves playing in the sandbox and at  the beach.  Doesn't eat too much sand.  
• Sitting up pretty well on his own.  Falls down once in a while.
• Still not crawling!  
• Very musically inclined!  Mesmerized by my sub-par banjo playing.  Loves to drum on pots and pans.  
• Likes to make sounds in general.  Raspberries, fart sounds, babbles, scratching surfaces with his fingernails.  
• Starting to throw any and everything. 
• Two teeth and counting! 
• Still sleeping through the night about 50% of the time.  Waiting patiently for the number to increase :)  
• Used to be a mini-Joe, but I think he's starting to look like me a little bit.  Still doesn't look Korean at all!  He is all Italiano! 
• Loving solids, although still only eating purees.  He is not quite able to chew and swallow yet unless the food is super mushy.  His recent favorite is lamb heart pureed with zucchini, carrots, cinnamon and coconut milk.    
• We've started giving tiny bits of fruit- loves it!  
• I'm nursing him a lot these days- about every 2 to 3 hours during the day, because he's so itty bitty I want to give him lots of the good stuff.  Plus, it's been really hot and dry here in socal.  
• Loves his daddy!  Joe is able to comfort him and put him to sleep just as easily as I can, at least for now.  I'm so grateful for this since I'm leaving for Costa Rica (just me and my friend!) in November and Joe will be watching both kiddos for a week.  I know, crazy! 
• Still adores Sisi unconditionally.  Sisi is coming around more and more.  I love listening to them babble to each other and crack each other up in the back seat of the car.  
• Sadly, had to say goodbye to his beloved Grandpa Sam this month.  I will always cherish the sweet moments and silly smiles they shared.  I know Grandpa delighted in Matteo, and did until his last days.  

miss you already, dear Grandpa.

Eudora (2), Matteo (8 months), Miles (7 months)

MVI 2978 from kristin brancaleone on Vimeo.

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Do This Everyday

Real talk here... I'm exceedingly happy in my role as a mom, but in recent days I've been having these brief (thankfully passing) moments of dread that interrupt my contentment.  Maybe not even dread, but a heaviness. Like a super duper mild version of the postpartum depression I suffered with Sisi. It's hard to put my finger on what or why.  I think it has to do with the monotony of everyday life as a mom of two.  My kids do so well with schedules and routines.  Every day follows a somewhat predictable rhythm where I'm staying one step ahead of their hunger, fatigue, boredom and overstimulation.  With Matteo, this routine is totally cyclical and happens 3 or 4 times a day- Wake up, nurse, diaper, play, nap.  Wake up, nurse, diaper, play, nap.  Over and over and over. Then I try to weave in Sisi's schedule as seamlessly as possible, and I find I'm always multitasking (which isn't really a strength of mine.)

babywearing at dinner is the norm.  that means lots of food gets dropped on matteo's fuzzy little head.

Don't get me wrong, this rhythm is good and keeps us all sane.  I'd rather have repetitive days than crazy chaotic days.  But I find that I myself don't have a routine for my own needs.  My meals, my showers,my playtime, my naps are never regular and sometimes just don't happen. I've managed so far to be very zen about this- to breathe and tell myself that it's ok for my own life to be a little jumbled up right now if it means giving my kids a calm and balanced life.  It's a worthwhile sacrifice. 

But those moments of dread still creep up a few times a day, and I don't like them.   I've decided to listen to that tight-chested feeling.  I think it's telling me I need to make time for my own little routines.  Comfort rituals.  If I can make the time to do these few things every day, I will feel a little more cared for.

Morning rituals:

1.  Brush teeth, use rose water toner (my fave! this stuff makes my face come alive, seriously.  also, my pores are so small now) first thing in the morning.  BEFORE I let the kids out of their rooms to start their morning rituals.  As an HSP, the feeling of fuzzy teeth and an unwashed face REALLY bothers me.  If I can take care of that first thing before I tend to my kids, I will feel one step ahead of the day.

2.  Get dressed and do makeup.  I've been pretty good about getting dressed thanks to my minimal wardrobe.  I love everything in my closet and it's all comfortable, so it's not hard to pick something out for the day.  My full makeup routine only takes 5 minutes because I prefer a really natural look, and I have a bare bones version (lip stain, powder, blush and curl lashes) that is good enough for days when I don't even have 5 mins to spare.

3.  Make the bed (even if I know Sisi will mess it up later.)

4.  Stroll in the garden in the morning.  Sunshine is important for health and wellness, but morning sunshine between the hours of 8-11 is particularly beneficial.  I don't know why, ask my husband.  Anyway, morning sun just feels amazing on my skin and I love checking out the garden to see what flowers are blooming and which vegetables have popped up overnight.

Evening rituals:

Ok, the moment I've been waiting for.  The kids are both tucked in, at least for a little while.  The house is quiet, lights are dimmed.  How should I spend this glorious hour or two before I fall into bed unconscious?  The answer is not online shopping on amazon (so very tempting!)

5.  Do a bit of yoga.  Even if it's just a couple rounds of sun salutations.  I sometimes feel like a hunchback with all the baby cradling, nursing, and bending down talking to tiny people I do each day.  Yoga is the remedy.

6.  Cup of tea.  My favorite way to get hydrated before bed for those middle of the night feedings :) Right now I'm digging Tazo Spicy Organic Ginger.

7. Acknowledge the dogs' existence.  I do feel bad that the dogs are my last priority right now.  I don't have much energy left for them.  But the least I can do is cuddle them and pet them for five minutes (and then immediately wash my hands because I've become very allergic to them since having kids).

8.  Read.  Preferably fiction.  Feels so indulgent.  My attention span for reading has grown so much since I stopped watching TV/movies.  I go through a book a week at least.

9. Most importantly, kiss the hubby goodnight.  Sometimes I'm so tired that I can't even make the effort to walk up to my husband and kiss him goodnight.  That is soooo very sad.  No more of that!

Curious- what are your must-do rituals every day?  I love to hear about how women incorporate the simple pleasures of life into their hectic days.  We are definitely worth it.  

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Matteo is 4 Months!

He keeps giving me Dave Matthews expressions.

Our little charmer is four months today.  He is still a mellow, go-with-the-flow baby, although I find 4 month olds to be quite intense. He's no longer a passive observer; he needs to grab and stuff everything into his mouth.  He wants to experience it all firsthand. There is so much he wants to do- the will and the energy is there, but the coordination is not. Some days, he needs extra cuddles and reassurance.  Some days his naps and nights are crap, but we're getting through this phase just fine.  I found this old post about Sisi and "Wonder Week 19" and just had to laugh at myself a little.  I remember taking Sisi's fussy periods so seriously (so personally, too!), and I would slip back into depression with each Wonder Week. It's only funny now, it wasn't then. I thank God almost every day that I am feeling so sane and balanced this time around. And HAPPY.  I enjoy both my kiddos so much I get butterflies when I look at them.  I expected to be a total wreck.  How's that for positivity?  ha.

The (often contradictory) comments I receive most about him are:

• He looks like an adult! 
• He's a mini Joe.  
• He doesn't look like either of you.  
• He looks so Italian/masculine/not Asian.  
• What a mellow/content/happy baby!  
• He is so serious. 
• He has expressive eyebrows.  
• He doesn't look like Sisi.  
• He looks just like Sisi, but a boy version.  

Matteo at a glance:

• starting to understand object permanence.  If I move a toy out of sight, he will look around for it. 
• when it comes to learning new skills, he seems pretty aggressive. He reaches, grabs, punches, slaps. Two days ago, he was just starting to think about rolling over.  The next day, he was charging it and got 95% there! Is this a boy thing? 
• still happily swaddled in the miracle blanket for night sleep. He was consistently busting out,  then I found boingo diaper clips to keep the flap closed, and they work perfectly.
• just for naps, we've eased him into the peke moe sleep sack. He self-soothes much easier if he is allowed to suck on his hands, but I think he transitions sleep cycles better when swaddled.  Any non-parents out there are probably annoyed at all this baby sleep jargon.
• sleeps about 11-11.5 hours straight, although inconsistently.  He'll do a great week of long nights, and then a crazy week with wakeups.  Sisi was the same way- slept through the night very early on, but off-and-on until she was about 1 year.   
• sometimes gets himself to sleep by clicking his tongue or sucking on his bottom lip.
• size 2 diapers, size 3-6 month clothes, no idea how much he weighs but he's a healthy little chunker. Definitely had a growth spurt last week.  
• sometimes 3 naps, sometimes 4.  We're in that weird transtion period.  
• still won't take the bottle!  Hope this changes soon so I can resume my Saturday morning surfing ritual.  
• eczema is pretty much a non-issue now that I can control it with Formula One cream. 
• first beach outing on Easter.  Dog beach is not a good place for a baby, btw.  He almost got trampled and peed on many times.   
• seems to love movement.  He laughs with glee when I do airplane with him, and seems oddly content when Joe holds him upside down by the ankles.  Sisi didn't (and still doesn't) like a lot of movement or horseplay.  
• finally has a middle name!  "Saja", which is a Korean word.  Does anyone know what it means? Hint: it coordinates with our last name.  

content to hang out in the grass for long stretches of time.

better post a butt picture before it's no longer ok!

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Matteo is 3 Months!

Matteo turned 3 months last week!  I enjoy him so much.  He continues to fit like a glove into our family and he seems very happy to be here.  I know I shouldn't put labels on him, especially this early, but I predict he will be an extravert. He is a people person, more interested in faces and voices than in objects or animals (opposite of Sisi).  If you want to catch one of his smirky smiles, just sing him a ditty; he loves to hear songs, and he will try to sing back.  He is not really a crier, but he doth protest a lot. Compared to Sisi (and we can't help but compare kids, huh? even though we shouldn't) he is quite vocal. In the last few days he started doing this adorable high pitched dolphin squeals when he's exasperated. It's so hard not to laugh at him when he does this.  It's neat that he's discovering other ways to express himself besides crying.

 

 

Itchy cradle cap and eczema.  Ugh. He's always grabbing chunks and scales off his scalp.

 I think he's soooo handsome!  A lot of people tell me he looks very masculine and adult-like.

He still sleeps in his Moses basket, but he's almost too big for it!  Luckily, putting the Moses basket in his crib has gotten him used to the crib, so it shouldn't be too rough of a transition. 

Matteo at a glance:

• We took our first babywearing ballet class last week!  He slept the entire time in the ergo carrier while I did my rond de jambes and plies.  I am so grateful for creative ways to work out with baby.  I am also taking him to my mommy yoga in the park and he just lays in the grass watching me do my sun salutations. 
• Size 3-6 month clothes, I am not sure how much he weighs.  Probably like 13.5 pounds or so? 
• Still sleeping through the night most nights, but it's been a little rocky the past few weeks (eczema itchies? wonder week? who knows! I don't overthink it too much.)  
• Beginning to self-soothe by chanting, just like Sisi did around this age.  She would do this "hmmmmmm" meditation to get herself to sleep, and Matteo does more of a melodic "haaaaa haaaa haaaa haaa" sound like he's doing vocal exercises or something.  It's pretty fascinating. To all those who don't believe young infants can self-soothe, I beg to differ.  When given the chance, they find creative ways to get themselves to sleep.
• Starting to grab things.  
• Turns the pages of Joe's books on biophotons.  
• Drooling lots.  Loves to suck my knuckles.  Pre-teething?  Is that a thing?  
• Was taking the bottle, now he's not.  We've tried like 5 different bottles.  It's a good thing I'm not working outside the home or this would be a very stressful situation!  Google "3 month bottle strike"- apparently it's a thing.  
• His eczema is getting slightly worse each day, which is discouraging to me.  I am already on a fairly strict paleo diet so I avoid the major allergens like gluten and dairy already. But I am also trying to cut out eggs (and maybe cut down on nuts, which is a super bummer for me) just in case it's diet-related.  We use all-natural cleaning and bath products, and are now using water wipes instead of our beloved costco wipes because we are wondering if he has chemical sensitivies.  I also wonder if our household mold issues during pregnancy have anything to do with it?  Eczema is an autoimmune reaction, and the fact that my bedroom was a petri dish of toxic mold could be to blame.  Thankfully, his eczema doesn't seem to bother him as much as it bothers me.  The so-called "miracle cream" that everyone raves about is coming in the mail tomorrow, so we will see if that makes a difference! I hope so, because his skin issues are starting to drive me bonkers.  I can now empathize with other eczema mommies out there!
• ECZEMA UPDATE- the miracle cream works.  Just started using it yesterday and the redness and inflammation is gone, there is just some rough skin left but that is quickly disappearing.  I'm totally amazed!!!

Oh Matteo, you bring me so much joy!  They say mommies and sons have a special bond, and I think it's so true.  I can tell you adore me.  You light up when I talk to you.  It feels so good to be so needed and appreciated.  Trust me, the feeling is mutual x a million!!!  

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Matteo is 2 Months!

I know it's totally cliche to say this, but I really mean it: it's hard to imagine my life without Matteo.  He's only been around for 2 months, but he has eased his way so easily and peacefully into our family.  He just belongs here. Being Matteo's mommy is easy (well, motherhood is never really easy, but natural.) I know I'm supposed to be really frazzled and sleep-deprived at this point, but I'm not.  I'm actually full of energy and joy.  Total opposite of the first time around. It helps that Matteo is a pretty contented baby.  He seems to enjoy life and its' pleasures- loves to eat, loves to sleep, loves to observe. His smiles are crooked and squinty and soooo cute.  They are still rare and fleeting enough to be ambiguous (gas or smile?) but there are moments when he will look right into my eyes and his face crumples up into the sweetest smile (definitely not gas) and I know we belong to each other.  My dear little boy.

Baptized on January 11th at 5 weeks.  

 Personal space?  What's that?? 

 Loves his Grandpa Sam.  I so wish he could have met his other Grandpa, but he is blessed to have 3 adoring grandparents.  

 His eyes are that steely grey baby color, but I can already tell they are turning brown.  Sisi's were already pretty blue by this age. 

 Morning ritual: reading books to Sisi while I nurse and cuddle Matteo.  A great way to start the day!

At this age, he could care less about toys. We just stare at each other all day long and are both entertained.

 I love his little round face. His head is not so round due to torticollis (prefers to look and sleep with head in one direction.) It's very oddly shaped in the back.

We are already practicing independent play.  We put him on this soft beaver skin for 10 minute increments throughout the day to give him "alone time".  We did that with Sisi and I really believe it's part of the reason she plays so well on her own.

 Mama-baby selfies!  #nomakeupdon'tcare :)  Well, I do kinda care. 

Matteo at a glace:  

• nurses about every 2.5-3 hours during the day (cluster feeds at night from 4:30-7:30.)
• loves to be swaddled, but can bust out of the miracle blanket (aka baby straight jacket) already! just bought the "swaddle strap"- we'll see if it works! 
• started sleeping through the night (or as the French say, "doing his nights") at about 5 weeks. first 11 hour stretch at 6 weeks.  no, that's not a typo.
• sometimes he hates baths.  sometimes he thinks they are alright.
• 11lb 6oz. wearing 3 month clothes. 
• started cooing and smirk-smiling a few weeks ago.  reserves his biggest smiles for his big sister. true social smiles started about a week ago.
• nicknames (mostly given by Sisi): matay, teo, theo, taters, tater tot. 

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