Another Baby!

Saturday, June 21, 2014

We are pregnant again!  Due right around Christmas time.  By next Christmas, I'll have a wiggly little brand-newborn.  We are excited and grateful!

I can't write about this pregnancy without reflecting upon our last one, the one that ended too soon.  In fact, I had those little chicken hats custom made a long time ago in anticipation of announcing the pregnancy that I lost (the etsy seller must have thought I was crazy for requesting a chicken hat for an egg!).  I kept those little hats bundled up in the closet, just praying we'd have a chance to use them. Finally, at 13 weeks, I felt brave enough to announce the good news.

I have been really paranoid with this pregnancy, but have tried to play it cool.  I've tried not to worry unless there is a specific fact-based reason to be worried (so far, nothing concrete to worry about!)  I remember telling myself if I got pregnant again, I would be hyper-vigilant and get an ultra-sound very early on.  Well, my midwife doesn't recommend ultra-sounds in early pregnancy and advised against it.  It was hard, but I agreed.  Instead, we relied on blood tests to reassure me that things were going ok.  Finally, at 12 weeks, the midwife felt my belly, pushed in a certain spot and it felt really tender right there. She put the doppler right on that spot, and a perfect heartbeat clicked away.  "That tender spot is where your baby is!" she gushed.  We were both super excited and relieved.  The day we heard the heartbeat was 6/10, which happened to be our lost pregnancy's due date.  Providential, no?

Sisi's reaction to a sibling was pretty neutral, at first.  I tried to hype it up, like "You can help feed the baby a bottle!  You'll have someone to read stories to! You can help bathe the baby!"  She didn't seem too impressed.

Then, about 8 hours later, out of the blue, she began sobbing and flailing.  She was inconsolable.  Then she blurted out, "I don't WANT to help!  I don't want to feed the baby!  I don't want a baby!"  Sure enough, she was grieving, and poured her grief out the way 3 1/2 year olds know how- in the form of a screaming tantrum.

I took her aside, held her close, and whispered, "You don't have to help with the baby if you don't want to.  The only thing I ask you to do is be gentle with the baby when it comes.  You will always be my baby. I understand why you are sad."  She quieted down, and then was in a terrific mood after that. The fact that I accepted her not-so-nice feelings and validated them was huge for her. Since then, she's resumed her neutral stance.  We shall see how she processes this in the months to come!


Bee June 23, 2014 at 6:06 AM  

so happy for you kristin!!!!! :) congratulations!

Rachel July 3, 2014 at 12:41 PM  

So, so excited for you, Kris! I'm sure Sisi will come around eventually, once the baby is a real person and not just an idea. Can't wait to meet him/her in December!

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